Something So Strong
by RosiePeverell
Summary: Remus' 7th year at Hogwarts is fraught with unrequited feelings and worries about his werewolf problem, and to make things worse, he and his friends are threatened by forces outside the school grounds.
1. Sanctuary

**PART ONE of TWO**

**1978**

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE: Sanctuary**

_October 16__th_

The screams that usually emanate from the shrieking shack every month seem louder than usual to the residents of Hogsmeade. It's not just the silence of the winter midnight air that makes them seem so- something is truly wrong tonight; something more than usual. Across the Hogwarts grounds and down the long, winding, secret passage of the newly planted Whomping Willow, James Potter and Sirius Black are frantically trying to restrain their friend, Remus Lupin. In his giant black dog form, Sirius attempts to wrest control of Remus' thrashing limbs.

"NO, REMUS- James, help me!" Sirius shouts as Remus' back arches, his pupils dilate and his fingernails grow to sharp yellowed talons. As he thrashes in the small room, James grabs a hold of his arms and pins them to his sides before wrapping his arms securely around his friend's torso, while Sirius forces him to his knees and sits on his legs, rendering Remus almost incapable of any lower body movement. Though he appears scrawny, James has a fair amount of muscle due to his intense Quidditch training, and Sirius' bloodline has granted him a certain degree of brute strength.

With Remus suitably restrained the two friends take a moment to glance at each other, conveying a simple message. Each is wondering why they put with this every month. Both have suffered numerous scratches and bruises, and even a few broken bones. None of these were hard to remedy, but the pain and stress and the concern for not just their own wellbeing, but for that of their fellow pupils, occasionally makes the two boys feel like Dumbledore doesn't really care about Remus' affliction, and that he is taking advantage of their friendship to Remus, instead of using his considerable power to help the ailing teenager himself.

Remus' panting gradually slows, and his pupils expand slightly. He begins to whimper and whine, like a dog left out in the cold. As his convulsions pass Sirius and James lessen their hold on him until he is completely free and able to move around the shack. He stalks, stooped and snarling, around the perimeter of the room, as he always does, before howling softly and moving into the next room, where he repeats this tradition.

Remus finally re-enters the room and stands glaring at his friends, who are sprawled on the hard wooden floorboards. Sirius is casually knitting together the newly gouged scratches on his side, while James repairs a crack in his glasses with his wand. Remus growls softly through bared teeth and turns back into the second room, slamming the wooden door shut with one swift movement of a powerful back leg.

James and Sirius look at each other, eyebrows raised.

"Seems like our buddy Remus is having some issues, huh?"

"More than usual, James, if that was possible."

The growls from next door become a series of harsh barks, and James grins. He takes out a pack of exploding snap and prepares to settle for what will be another very long night.

ooo

_November 12__th_

"Pssst, Remus," James whispers across his cauldron. "Oi, Wolf-boy."

Remus shoots him a dangerous look, reminiscent of his morphed state. "What now, James?"

"I left half of my essay on Polyjuice Potions in the dorm. Can I copy yours?"

This earns him another look.

"No, you can't. It's your fault you left it behind, and I'm not going to let you benefit from the hours of work I put into my essay. Besides, Professor Slughorn will notice if you copy mine."

"Not word for word, idiot. I'll put my own little twist into it."

"The answer is still no."

James scowls and dumps his griffin claw into his cauldron, slopping some of the thick potion into his lap. The potion, which is much yellower than it should be, sizzles quickly through his trousers. He jumps up; knocking over his scales, and runs hastily from the room, glaring at Remus as he does so.

"What's up his arse?" says Sirius, turning to grin at his friend's hasty departure.

"Nothing more than usual, Sirius. By the way, your cauldron is melting."

"Wha- oh, shit."

While Sirius struggles with this dilemma Remus packs up his ingredients and instruments and strides from the room. He ignores Slughorn's inquiries and heads straight for the seventh floor, where he knows he'll be able to find some peace.

ooo

Ever since their last trip to the Shrieking Shack, James has noticed that Remus has become increasingly cold towards him. It's as if he's keeping a secret. One which involves James. Though Remus tries so hard to be as nonchalant, as blasé as he can, James can see that his friend can't hold it in. He's always been so quiet compared to his friends- which would seem strange to those who've seen him in his vicious werewolf state- but he's a passionate boy.

As Remus stews in the Room of Requirement James, trapped in his Muggle Studies class, once again ponders this train of thought while Professor Woodward drones on about the functions of the muggle contraption "airplanes".

"Now, while wizards use apparition, the floo network and broomsticks for long distance travel, muggles use several types of wholly _non-magical_ metal forms of transport. These are known as cars, airplanes, trains, busses, taxi cabs and trams, though I do believe that the latter have gone somewhat out of fashion... And yes, I know that you covered these in your fifth year, but we're going to go into a little more depth… Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"Sir, I feel ill. Can I be excused?"

"Again, Mr. Potter? That's the second time this week, you know. It's not good for you to miss so much of my class. Your exam results will suffer. We don't want that, do we?"

"No, sir, but I'm _pretty_ sure we _also_ don't want me to be sick all over my desk."

"Oh, Merlin… Go, Potter. Sort yourself out, and maybe bring a morning sickness potion to class tomorrow."

The class snickers as James leaves, but he doesn't care. He has to talk to Remus, and he's pretty sure that he knows where to find him.

ooo

James reaches the seventh floor ten minutes later. Remus is still inside the Room of Requirement, sleeping soundly in a large hammock while classical music plays softly from an ancient gramophone. The room has always been his favourite place in the castle, and all of his own design. The walls are of a light brown wood, and are hung with tapestries showing scenes of peace, such as deserted, sunlit gardens and flat blue lakes. The bookshelves which line the left wall are full of leather-bound volumes, most of which are classic Muggle stories. Though Remus' parents are both of wizarding descent, he discovered them at a young age and now takes what little time out he has from his schooling to read through them. Sometimes he wonders what his life would have been like if his parents were Muggles, and if he had been one too. Not knowing a thing about Hogwarts or the Ministry or Diagon Alley, or any of the numerous wonderful things that are normal in his life... it makes him feel like he's living in a parallel universe, accessible only to those who were able to enter it because of chance or fate.

As Remus sleeps James sits himself in front of the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. He shifts uncomfortably on the cold stone floor, trying to find a position that can null the pain in his already aching tailbone. When Remus finally leaves, he intends to be there waiting for him.

ooo

Forty five minutes later, Remus wakes from his slumber. He wakes gradually, his senses dulled from his deep sleep and his mind quiet and peaceful. For a few minutes he forgets all about his NEWT exams and his trouble with James, and simply lies still and appreciates the soft golden glow of the lamp on the table by the door. He checks his watch. He still has an hour before lunch. As much as would like to stay and snooze some more, he knows he has to finish his homework for the day now, so he can have the rest of the day to relax.

Eventually he sits and swings his legs to the side, rising from the hammock and snatching his wand from the top of the bookshelf to his right, and stands and walks to the door. He emerges into the hallway and sees James sitting on the floor. James jumps to his feet, wincing at the pain in his back.

The two boys face each other. The door at Remus' back swings shut and disappears into the brick. Remus feels the warmth of the room leave him. Out here in the cold corridor there is no comfort- no music, no hammock, no golden light, only confrontation.

James is suddenly as a loss for words, even though he spent the last three quarters of an hour rehearsing his speech. Finally, he says "You have a problem with me, don't you." It's more a statement, which Remus was afraid of. He can't deny anything now.

Remus sighs. He doesn't want to deal with this. He wants to sit and do his homework, then eat a hot meal with his friends before finally going up to Gryffindor tower and reading in the warm common room.

"I don't want to do this now, James. Let's leave it for another day, okay?"

"No, we can't. I skipped my Muggle Studies class to come here and wait for you. I want to sort this out now, before you get any madder at me. I want to know so I can figure out to fix it."

"You can't fix anything. It's not your fault, anyway. Well, not really."

"So why are so angry at me?"

"I'm not even angry, I'm just… just sad." It's not really the word he's looking for, but it's fine for now.

"Sad?"

"Yeah, sad. Melancholy. Aggrieved."

"Well, no-one's going to argue that you don't have anything to feel _melancholy_ about, but I want to know what any of this has to do with _me_."

"Look, it- just leave it, would you? Please?"

James looks at his friend. They've known each other for over four years now, and they've been through some tough times together. They've spent many nights in the shrieking shack, forced to be there by Remus' condition. They've studied together, fought each other and helped each other, and through everything they've stayed steadfast friends. Only now, though, is James completely aware of Remus' shabby robes, drawn face and dark eyes. The self inflicted scar across his cheek- caused during a particularly nasty scuffle one full moon night- stands out starkly in the quiet, dimly lit corridor. He feels pity for him, which he knows Remus would hate, but also anger. After all this time, Remus should be able to share with him.

"Fine. Fine, I'll let it go for now, but we're not finished talking about this."

Remus sighs heavily and watches James stride towards the stairs and disappear from sight. He stands still for several minutes.

Then, murmuring quietly under his breath, Remus walks three times in front of the tapestry, thinking of a room which comes so easily now to his mind. When the door appears he slips quickly inside, forsaking his homework for just an hour more in his sanctuary.


	2. Memory

**CHAPTER TWO: Memory**

Remus doesn't appear in the great hall for lunch or for dinner. James sits with Lily and Sirius, looking up every now and then and waiting for his friend to come walking through the doors with his shabby robes flapping at his ankles. At lunch Lily notices his distress.

"What's wrong James? Are you waiting for someone?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Remus wasn't here at lunch, and he's still not here now. I think there's something up with him."

"You mean he's sick?"

James glances at Sirius and the two of them smirk; both are thinking of his "furry problem", his real sickness.

"No, I mean I think he has a problem with me, for some reason."

"Oh…"

Lily blushes, but James doesn't see. He and Sirius have begun a staring contest across the table.

She sighs. Though Sirius and James have grown up significantly over the last few years, they both still possess a certain immaturity that she finds, depending on her mood, both charming and irritating. Her female friends have all had a crush on one or both of them at some point, but it isn't until now, when they're starting their seventh year, that Lily's felt any physical feelings towards them, James in particular. His ego had certainly been a turn-off at times, but things change. With James, the change came in many forms. Not only is he taller and leaner, but kinder too. Sometimes she catches him giving advice to a first year, or directing a member of another house in the right direction, instead of to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. She's spent a few nice evenings with him in the common room, just talking and laughing. Usually he'd be ignoring her, playing exploding snap with Sirius or charming bits of paper to fly at the first years, but not so much anymore. After alternating between feigning indifference and begging for her hand in marriage, he's finally calmed down a bit and eventually settled on being her friend, and it's just that that's made her want him. How ridiculous is that? Now that they're on a more stable platonic level she wants to jump his bones!

And then two weeks ago Remus had made a sudden move on her. The Gryffindor common room had been quiet for half an hour when he emerged from his dormitory. Lily was reading one of her Charms textbooks, studying for a test they had the next day, when he appeared at the entrance to the boy's bedrooms. She looked up, surprised. She thought she was only one still awake.

"Hi, Remus. Couldn't you sleep?"

"No… I was thinking about too many things at once and now I have a headache."

She smiled, knowing how obsessive he could become and how it made him stress so much. His more boisterous male friends always put his quietude down to a certain withdrawal, and sometimes nonchalance, but to her it's quite evident that he's always been an intense, passionate person, who feels reluctant to share his real self with his friends in case they use it as another reason to mock him. Though she never mentioned it to anyone she was rather fond of him, despite his ongoing condition, which she knew was apt to scare those who discovered it.

"Come and sit for a minute then; it's warm, quiet, and I have some water here next to me."

"Thanks, Lily."

They sat together in comfortable silence for a little while. She watched him close his eyes as he sank into a plush red couch and as the firelight flickered over his body, illuminating the scar on his cheek and the new, red cuts on his neck and forearms. As she watched, the warmth of the fire washed over her, relaxing her completely. The comfortable armchair caressed her tired limbs until it felt like the fatigue that had accumulated over the first month of term had been leeched entirely away. She stared at his closed eyelids, feeling simultaneously like the heaviest and lightest thing in the world. It was a feeling she could never quite explain, that sinking fatigue where one feels neither tired nor asleep. Her textbook was heavy on her lap but all the same she hardly felt it. It had become a part of her and her relaxation. The corners of her mouth curved upwards and her eyes closed. Behind her lids she saw a soft orange light, flickering slightly, and she heard a rustle and a slow footstep. She moved her hand, which hung off the arm of the chair, and felt herself reach out.

And then Remus' hand was in hers, and the other on her cheek, and he was staring lazily into her slowly opening eyes, and everything was so warm and perfect… Some time passed, and she felt his lips on hers, barely there, but so sensual all the same. She almost kissed him back, but something, she didn't know what, made her stop. Maybe it was guilt, though she had no real reason to feel this. She and James weren't exactly an item, after all. Time began to quicken, she began to come fully awake, and she pulled away. The tiredness returned to her limbs. In the moment it had been wonderful, but now she felt like crying, and her whole body was in a hot flush. She felt terrible about not being able to respond in the way that she wanted, but the way that he had kissed her without any warning had put her slightly off course.

He felt her hesitate, and moved away. Now things were moving in double time; first he was inches from her mouth and then he was standing, confused and embarrassed and even slightly horrified, three feet away from her in front of the waning intensity of the fire. She half stood and the textbook fell from her lap, landing with a crash. The noise made both of them flinch.

Remus ran a hand over his face. He was avoiding her eyes as if she were a basilisk. "Oh, crap," he said, and turned away and rushed for the dorm stairs.

"Remus, I-" she called after him, still half standing from the armchair. But he was already gone, and Lily sat back down, clutching at her elbows and wondering what had bought that on, and more importantly, why she had enjoyed it so much.


	3. Peter's Return, Potions and a Close Call

**CHAPTER THREE: Peter's Return, Potions, and a Close Call.**

_November 12th_

Remus doesn't leave the Room of Requirement until early the next day. Sirius and James are bound to have noticed his absence from meals and from the common room last night, but he supposes that James would have explained their conversation to Sirius by now. He doesn't feel like seeing either of them at all, because both would attempt to pry his secret from him, each in their own little way. James would use guilt. He'd say something like "Remus, you're my friend and you have been for a long time. Don't you trust me? Why don't you trust me?" Sirius, on the other hand, would try humour. He'd try to guess, beginning small and escalating into obscene situations which would have Remus suppressing a smile. "Okay," he'd say, "did he hurt you in some way? Did you get in a fight? Did he refuse to share his cookies with you? Is that it? Oh, or are you in love with him? That would make a lot of sense."

As he leaves the safety of the room his worries escalate. What if he runs into Lily? He has three classes with her- Charms, Transfiguration and Potions- and in each he has been doing his best to avoid her. This has been especially hard in Potions because Sirius and James are in that class as well, and sometimes she comes over to talk to them from the table that she shares with her female friends.

He moves slowly through the castle, from the entrance to the Room of Requirement to the Great Hall. As he walks down the marble stairs in front of the hall he sees Sirius and James sitting at the Gryffindor table, sitting and laughing… with Peter Pettigrew.

"Oh, Merlin, no… what is he doing here?" he murmurs to himself.

He approaches the three boys and takes a seat next to Sirius, opposite Peter.

"Back from holiday, are we Peter?" he says.

"Yes we are, as you can see."

"Still don't care to tell us why you were gone?"

"You know I can't Remus. I told you that it's top secret," he says, tapping the side of his oily nose.

"Leave the man alone, Remus," says Sirius, amused as usual. "He just got back, he needs some rest."

Remus scowls. He's become more and more certain since Peter left that whatever his friend's been doing for the last six weeks isn't anything at all good. He knows it's not really any of his business, but he has a bad feeling about Peter's intentions. Suddenly he wants to go, empty stomach or not.

"I'll see you guys later," he mutters. He stands quickly and strides from the hall, not looking back until he reaches the seventh floor and the portrait that signifies the entrance to the Gryffindor common room.

"Password?" says the Fat Lady sleepily. As is- and so far as he knows, has always been- tradition, a half empty bottle of sherry rests at her feet, and a large box of chocolates sits on her ample lap.

"Uh… furnunculous?" he says, not sure if the password has changed.

"In you go."

She swings lazily open and Remus steps into the common room. With most of the students at breakfast, the common room is (mercifully) almost empty. Two of Lily's friends are seated near the fireplace, writing furiously. He guesses- correctly- that they have some homework due and haven't managed to finish. He remembers his own homework and sighs. Their NEWT year demands so much; so much practice work, so many essays and sacrifices of time. He is tired all the time, no matter how early he goes to bed each night, and on top of all his schooling troubles is Lily. Ever since that impulsive kiss two weeks ago he has been utterly unable to stop thinking about her. At the time he had been so all-over-the-place, he barely even knew what he's doing half the time… ah, but why bother to make excuses, when he knows what's really going on? He likes her. He likes her a lot. And never mind that James has been interested in her for six years. Never mind that James is one of his best friends, and that Remus' friendship with Lily could be potentially damaged by certain actions that he might take.

And she hadn't returned the kiss. The rejection still hurts him. Suppose he tried again and she still refused? He doesn't think he can handle that, on top of everything else, right now.

Remus goes upstairs to fetch his homework, and spends the next two and a half hours writing a Charms essay. When it's finally done and he reads over his work, he can't remember having written any of it, so caught up was he in his thoughts and feelings. His actions have become mechanical, with no real meaning. Nothing has meaning so long as Lily continues to evade him.

In bed that night, Remus' dreams are like a film playing every sweet moment that he and Lily have shared. Every glance that felt like seduction, every touch that made him sweat and shake, every word that he was sure contained a hidden meaning, and he falls asleep with the memory of Lily's lips on his.

_November 13th_

Friday dawns sunny and clear with a chill wind. On his way to his morning Care of Magical Creatures lesson, Remus rehearses a speech to Lily, hoping that he doesn't run into her before he has it perfected. They have potions together that afternoon, and he's hoping to catch her after class.

During his lessons that morning Remus becomes uncharacteristically vacant. With his NEWT exams coming up at the end of the school year he would usually be paying constant attention, but in Potions it's James- of all people- who has to shake him back to reality.

"You were off in your own little world there, Wolf-boy! I had to answer a question for you- Professor Lovage wasn't impressed."

"He… wha-?"

Remus looks up to see Lovage glaring at him disapprovingly. His cauldron is bubbling and fuming, and emitting a most foul odour. It seems that he had zoned out after adding his pomegranate juice and had then failed to stir the potion, causing it to thicken into a disgusting, green-brown gloop. He uses a vanishing charm to clear his cauldron and gets up to get some more juice from the store cupboard, with Lovage watching his every move. As he pulls a box of bottles down from the top shelf an auburn head appears at his side. He nearly dropped the juice when he sees who it is.

"Lily!"

"Good morning Remus. I hope you are well."

"Wha- yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh, I don't know. Say, did you notice that the full moon is tomorrow?"

He stares at her incredulously. Surely she doesn't know…

"I'll see you later Remus."

And she walks back to her table. Remus stands, looking utterly shocked. He had completely forgotten. And she _knows_? She had never said anything to him about it, and so far as he knew James and Sirius were oblivious too. Things had become slightly more complicated. Remus decides to leave his conversation with Lily for a day or two. He needs to talk to James first.

His moment comes after lunch, when he and James are alone in their dorm.

"James," Remus says. "I need to talk to you."

"What is it, mate?"

"Full moon's tomorrow."

"Yeah, so?"

"I don't think you should come."

James looks puzzled.

Remus says, with a sigh, "You're right, I am mad at you. I haven't resolved it yet, and I think it would be best if you stayed in the castle this time, just in case."

"I think I can handle it, Remus, really. Sirius and I are used to it."

"Please James, just do it for me."

"If I do, will you tell me why you're angry at me?"

"I don't know if I can do that."

"Then I'm coming with you," he says, and walks away.

"No, James! Don't- I need to-."

But he's gone, out through the portrait and out of sight. Remus doesn't bother going after him, because he knows that James wouldn't pay any attention to what he has to say. What would he say, anyway? That he had tried to kiss Lily? That he was angry that she had rejected him and that she was more likely to go for James himself? He wasn't really mad at James at all – that was just an excuse that he needed to make for himself and for his friend. He needed at least some reason, something to convince James with, be it true or not.

He checks his watch. He has another hour before his last class of the day- Charms. He decides to take a leaf out of James' book and call in sick, and go to the Room of Requirement for a nap. He feels dog-tired, and with the full moon looming the next night he can do with a little extra sleep.

_November 14th_

"Shhh. Come on James, hurry up! We should've left five minutes ago."

The three boys are readying themselves to sneak out to the Shrieking Shack once again. The time of the moon's appearance is close, and James hasn't found his invisibility cloak.

"Calm down, wolf-boy. I'm getting there… Ah! Here it is. Come on."

James stuffs the cloak up his jumper, and the three of them exit the dorms and walk quickly out into the corridor. James checks the Marauder's Map – a work in progress – as they go.

"Everything's clear, mostly. We have to watch out for Lovage though; he's on the next floor."

They pass several students coming back from dinner, some making their way to the Gryffindor tower, eager to sleep after a day spent studying and attending lessons.

Finally, they arrive at the castle's front door. The grounds are growing darker. They don't have much time. They have to be hiding in safety before the full moon comes out and Remus begins his transformation. Feeling apprehensive, Remus pushes the door open and steps outside with the others. They are now fully cloaked in a shroud of invisibility. James' incredible cloak hides them from view perfectly as they creep towards the whomping willow.

Without Peter, who in the past used his rat form to stop the tree from crushing them, their safe passage into the tunnel poses a problem. Remus has an idea. He raises his wand and points it at a stick. With precise aim, he prods it at the wooden knoll on the tree's massive trunk, and immediately the dangerous branches cease to move. Together, they sneak forwards and into the dark, hidden passage.


	4. The Shack Again

**CHAPTER FOUR: The Shack Again**

Remus checks his watch as they enter the shack. They have mere minutes, now, if his timing is right.

Sirius stays at the entrance in hulking dog form for a few minutes, checking that nobody followed them from the castle. The last evidence of daylight soon disappears and the stars come out in strength. As Sirius flies down the long tunnel and Remus' bellows begin to drift up from the shack, the shine of the moon appears between the trees of the Forbidden Forest. The grounds are bathed with a silvery light which merges with the slivers of gold shining through the castle windows. It starts to snow softly.

When Sirius enters the shack James is hastily closing the shutters on the windows, eliminating most of the light in the tiny room. Remus is hunched against a wall, groaning and shaking.

James whispers to Sirius, "Close the door," and Sirius does, padding softly across the room- changing as he goes into his human form- and nudging it shut with his bare foot.

When Sirius turns around he sees that Remus is now shivering violently. Goosebumps have risen on his bare arms. His eyes are staring straight ahead, fixed on the opposite wall. James casts a heating charm, and instantly the room warms up by several degrees.

And then suddenly Remus thrusts himself away from the wall- gouging claw marks in the wood- and launches himself into the middle of the room, and begins to transform. His shirt rips at the seams as his spine arches upwards and his chest expands. His hair shoots into his scalp, his eyes turn a muddy gold, and his legs bend and lengthen. This is the fastest they've ever seen him change, and Sirius and James leap to restrain him as he lurches across the floor. He moans and pants as his body transformed, until he is kneeling, panting, and rid of his clothing, now entirely in werewolf form. Beads of sweat trickle down his face and chest. Each clutching a hard, muscled forearm, James and Sirius are kneeling beside him, sweating slightly.

The three of them stay there for a moment, in the middle of the dusty shack floor.

And then Remus throws his arms outwards, flinging James and Remus into the walls. He stands, his howls inhuman and filled with rage.

Sirius climbs weakly out of the wreckage of an ancient table and dusts himself off, eyeing Remus in case he attacks again. James sits, dazed and prone, against the wall, as Remus approached him. The now fully transformed werewolf stands over him, snarling. James blinks up at him, his glasses askew.

"Remus..." he says, raising his hands.

Sirius leaps across the room, now in dog form, and places himself in front of James and Remus, growling softly under his breath. Remus' eyes narrow to slits and he backs away from his friends, as James stays on the floorboards, shivering. Sirius forces Remus slowly to the other side of the small space as James shakily stands, looking at Remus incredulously. He can't believe that his friend would ever attack in cold blood, though he appears to have so almost done only moments before. Even in his werewolf state Remus has never been so purposely aggressive to his friends- the broken bones of previous full moon nights had been purely accidental- especially not to James, whom he respects and is almost in awe of.

The room is silent save for James' rasped breathing and Remus' heavy canine huffing.

Moving almost imperceptibly, Sirius turns his head slightly away from Remus and looks at James, communicating in a way that James has become accustomed to over the years- a slight cock of the head and a widening of the eyes. It means "Are you okay?" James nods. His ribs were bruised a little from when he had hit the wall, but he feels otherwise fine.

A strange expression flashes across Remus' face. He looks as though he is fighting some terrible battle within himself, and it isn't until he lunges once again at James, with a horrible snarl and dangerous, renewed ferocity, that they know which side has won.


	5. The Hospital Wing

**CHAPTER FIVE: The Hospital Wing**

_November 15th_

James awakes from what he feels has been a deep yet restless sleep. The air looks hazy and misty; as if the weather has rolled in off the lake and infiltrated the castle- it does do that sometimes. It's just one of the many quirks of living at Hogwarts.

He realises that he isn't wearing his glasses, and fumbles around for them on the table beside his bed. Still groggy with sleep, he clumsily pushes them on, and most of the haziness goes away.

Other than him, the hospital wing is empty. The cold white light of a winter dawn filters through the narrow windows, and the distant noise of the students' owls returning to the owlery is the only sound apart from the clock ticking on the far wall.

As James sits up, he feels a dull ache in his left shoulder, and when he looks down he sees a white bandage wrapped around most of his upper left side. He feels around his the fingers of his right hand and deducts that apart from this initial ache, he isn't in any serious pain.

At that moment, Madam Cokayne comes bustling in, her matronly bulk swaying down the middle aisle towards him. She snaps at him, "Lay down!" and he does so immediately.

"You had a nasty cut," she says as she pours an orange concoction into a small cup, "but you're basically healed now."

She unwraps the bandage and, humming a little, pokes- not too gently, either- around his shoulder.

"Drink this, stay for ten minutes more and then leave." She thrusts the cup at his chest, and he downs the foul tasting contents immediately.

"I suggest you go straight down to breakfast. You're probably feeling a little faint. You did lose quite a lot of blood, after all."

He is feeling more than a little light headed, now that she mentions it. He hadn't noticed before, but the second she says it his head begins to swim. The other hospitals beds sway before his eyes, and the end of his own seems miles away. James closes his eyes and waits for the medicine to take hold. When it does, he feels a warm, pins-and-needles sensation down most of the left half of his body. After a few minutes this becomes rather annoying.

Eventually it stops, and he stands -feeling dizzy but in no pain- and walks through the hospital wing doors.

Sirius is waiting for him. He's standing casually against the wall, one foot raised and tapping away at the stones. When James appears he pushes himself off the wall and strolls, casual as ever, to meet him. Together they walk down the deserted hallway. Sirius is obviously eager to talk to him about something: the continuous head jerks and goldfish mouth actions give him away.

"Go on, then. Get it out."

James turns to Sirius. His face shows a mixture of emotions: worry and amusement, a strange combination. It gives him the look of someone who has seen a child fall, and who is trying to appear serious while holding in a chuckle at the expression of total surprise on the poor kid's face.

"You were pretty seriously beat up, James. Remus managed to knock you around quite a bit before I could jump in."

"I'm okay, though."

"Yeah, but man, you should have seen the state of you last night, laying all bloodied on the hospital wing bed. I got stuff all over my robes carrying you there."

James grins. "I'll try not to bleed too much next time, then."

"Hopefully there won't be a next time, mate. It was gruesome. You had bones sticking out and-"

"What?"

"I said you had bones sticking out-"

"Yeah, I heard you! I thought I only had a cut on my shoulder! Madam Cokayne didn't mention a thing about _bones_…"

Sirius looks at him, now laughing.

"Oh man, you were a _mess_!"

"I don't…" James looks shell-shocked. His messy hair accentuates it perfectly.

"You had cuts all over your arms, two broken ribs, a sprained wrist…"

"Oh my god… Why don't I remember?"

"Why would you want to? It doesn't matter though. You were stitched up pretty good. I can't get the image of that cut-" he gestures towards James' arm "-out of my mind. I saw your collarbone, man."

"You saw my _bone_?"

"Yep. Not a pretty sight, I assure you."

He adds, "it's a shame she didn't leave you any scars, the girls like that. Maybe if we sliced you open again you'd be able to get some."

James doesn't hear him, though. He's had a sudden thought. "How is Remus doing, by the way?"

"Oh, well…" Sirius trails off.

James waits. He knows that Sirius will tell him, he just has to give him time.

And sure enough: "He's not so good, actually. Last I saw him; he was running off into the Forbidden Forest, whimpering like a little puppy. He didn't come up to the tower at all last night."

"I need to speak to him, then."

"Wait until after breakfast, okay? You're as pale as a ghost."

As if on cue, Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor ghost, floats through a wall and says "he's right, you know. You look dead on your feet." He sighs mournfully- no doubt thinking of his own unused appendages- and floats upwards through the ceiling.

The Great Hall is almost empty when they arrive- only the early risers, mainly Ravenclaws studying for their upcoming classes, are seated at the tables. Professor Dumbledore is sitting at the head table, his head resting in his bony hands. He appears to be thinking deeply, and his mouth is curled into a serene half smile.

"Odd fellow," James mutters. (He swears later that Dumbledore's smile grew larger.)

As they serve themselves heaped plates of steaming eggs and bacon, Lily storms in through the huge doors. Her eyes are red and swimming with tears that she isn't even bothering to conceal. She sits down heavily next to Sirius and grabs a piece of toast. James watches her fingers tear the crusts from the bread, which she flings down, one at a time, onto the table. Eventually, she looks up to glare at them. When she speaks, her voice is clear -despite her obvious emotional state- and full of malice.

"Peter bloody Pettigrew," she says, "is a worthless heap of dirt."

Taken slightly aback, James and Sirius glance at each other and put down the heaped forks that were halfway to their open mouths when Lily burst in.

"My dear girl," says James. "Whatever do you mean?"

Ignoring his tone, Lily flushes and says "I was getting dressed in my dorm room, and this thing floated in through the door. It looked like an eye or something, and it came right up to me while I was… well, _undressed_."

Sirius cracks up, but James' face is suddenly stony and serious. He knows exactly where this is going. "Go on," he says.

"So I dress as quick as I can and go downstairs and there's Peter, stowing his wand away in his pants, and when I ask him what he's doing all he can say is "um"."

"So…?" says Sirius.

"So? It's obvious that he was spying on me!"

James sits back, pondering this new development, while Lily, still slightly steaming, stares at him.

"Right," he says, and abruptly stands up. "I'm gonna have to teach his a lesson."

The common room is empty when they arrive, panting, at the portrait. James set a quick pace from the Great Hall. His wand is already out and ready at his side as they step through. Inside, though, the only movement comes from the flickering interior of the fireplace. Some sounds of activity are drifting down the stairs- bed springs creaking, footsteps vaguely thumping, water running- but Gryffindor tower is otherwise deserted. It's likely that Peter left here straight away. What kind of criminal lingers at the scene of the crime?

And yet James is sure that someone is here. He doesn't think that Peter left at all. Maybe it's a smell, a lingering odour. His nose twitches. His mouth curls in disgust. He's here, somewhere.

He's barely moved since he stepped through the portrait hole, and neither have Sirius and Lily. Like his own personal bodyguards they're standing behind him, watching the only exit from the common room- there are windows, of course, but Peter's a rat, not a bird.

James mutters to his wand, "point me." It swings to the right in his hand, towards the bookshelves near the north facing window. Peter isn't visible from where James is standing, and there are no places big enough for a dumpy teenage boy to hide. James suspects that Peter, the animagus, is in his rat form. He would be just small enough to crawl behind the bookcase, in amongst the dust and cobwebs accumulated since the last spring cleaning. James imagines his slippery rodent tail slithering in through the gap, like the final note of an orchestral performance.

Taking one step forward so that he can see over the plush, overly be-cushioned loveseat obscuring part of the bookcase, James raises his wand.

The dim morning light in the tower (the curtains are usually drawn until 8am) becomes fiery red. Sparks and flames erupt from the end of James' wand and encircle the bookcase. The flames lick harmlessly at the wood, curling in and up and out, until the entire north facing side is a wall of magical flickering light. Out of the flames, with a terrified squeak, pops Peter. He's already halfway to becoming human-shaped again, and within seconds the brown rat is a quivering teenager, cowering on the floor behind the couch. His robes are dusty and covered in cobwebs, and his stringy, mousy hair is severely dishevelled.

His voice sounds remarkably rat like- small and squeaky. "James, please…"

"Oh, is the filthy rodent asking for mercy?"

James' wand is pointed squarely at the middle of Peter's forehead. His hand is steady- unlike Peter's. He's shaking like an old man with Parkinson's disease.

Peter extends his hands. He's pleading, and it's extremely unflattering.

"I hope you know why we're here, Wormtail. I hope you know what you've done wrong."

"I'm s-sorry… please… please forgive me."

"Why are talking to me, scum? You should be apologising to Lily!"

He sees Lily standing, arms crossed, eyes fierce, behind James. He whimpers "Lily, my dear-"

"Don't _talk_ to her like that! She's _not_ your '_dear'_, Peter!"

Peter shrinks inwards even further, as if James is branding him with his words. He looks utterly pitiful, lying on the common room floor, shaking like a leaf in a strong wind, gibbering like an idiot. But as James watches, his eyes grow darker, slowly, almost imperceptibly. He knows what this means.

"Don't do it! If you change I'll stun the living _shit_ out of you!"

"I'm not going to apologize to the mudblood, _Prongs_. I have better things to be doing right now." He morphs quickly; quicker than James has ever seen. It's almost as if Peter disappeared and a rat immediately appeared to take his place. Out of the corner of his eye James sees Lily spring forward with her wand arm outstretched, Sirius at her side, but Peter is going and gone, out of the portrait hole and out of sight.

Out of sight, but not out of mind. James curses and kicks the loveseat and turns to look at Lily, whose cheeks are scarlet with fury. Sirius looks stunned. Peter had never before used such foul language in front of Lily, and had especially not insulted her so horribly. In fact, Lily looks about ready to burst into tears.

"When I get a hold of him… Merlin… Lily, I'm so sorry that he said that to you."

"Don't apologize for him, James. He'll get what's coming to him."

Lily composes herself. She smooths out her robes and pats down her hair. She smiles a weak smile.

"I'm going up to the dorm, guys. I'll see you later."

They watch as she walks, shoulders straight, hair swinging, across the common room, to the stone stairs that lead to the girls' dormitory. James' mind clouds over as he watches her, as it often does. He imagines for a moment that they're together, the perfect couple. They're happy and young and carefree. Of course, everything come crashing down, back to the present, eventually. The last he sees of her that day is her legs slipping slowly upwards and out of sight.


	6. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs

**CHAPTER SIX: Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs  
**

_November 15th & 16th_

There's not a single sign of Remus in the castle that day. After their discussion with Peter, James conducts a thorough search of all the places that Remus might be hiding. He even takes a trip down the small, earthy passage that leads to the interior of the Shrieking Shack, but the scratches on the walls and floorboards and the spattering of blood from James' injury are the only signs of human- or animal- presence, and of course most of these signs are days old.

And even the Room of Requirement is empty, as James discovers. At lunchtime he walks back and forth in front of the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy, thinking "I need a place to hide." As he'd suspected, the cosy room that appears out of nowhere is deserted. The lamps are on but no one's home.

Dinner is a solemn affair. Lily, James and Sirius sit at the Gryffindor table, silently picking over their roast chicken and potatoes, Sirius moodily spooning peas into his mouth. They're all desperately worried about Remus, loose on the school grounds- or beyond, who knows? He could be anywhere, in fact. They've all known about the secret passages to Hogsmeade for years, and it's quite possible that Remus, in a terrible state, fled down one and out the other side. He could be hiding in the mountains, for all they know.

It's not until nearly midnight, when they're slouched on the couches in the common room, pondering what to do next, that Sirius has a brainwave. He sits up so suddenly that Lily's tortoiseshell cat, Miruna, jumps out of her lap and scoots up to the girls' dorms like a flash of furry lightning. Lily, half asleep, feels her heart jump a beat. The sudden flurry of activity has her instantly alert.

Sirius shouts, "of course!" and runs up to his own dorm room. Lily and James are still sitting, utterly perplexed, when he returns.

"The map! The bloody map!" Sirius is literally jumping around with an insane joy that's both amusing and disconcerting to see. In his hands is an old piece of parchment, apparently blank.

"Sirius! Stop flapping around and tell us what you're going on about. And shut up; you'll wake everyone up," Lily scolds.

"We were using this just the other day- I can't believe I just thought about it!" He looks over at lily, who is glaring at him expectantly. "Oh, yeah, you don't know... This is our map-"

"What do mean, a map?" says Lily, puzzled. "It just looks like an old, grubby piece of parchment."

"Ah yes, that's the beauty of it! Look…" He taps it with his wand and says "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," and instantly lines and squiggles begin to form on the page. The parchment now seems to have many folds, because as the lines move Sirius unravels it, with Lily watching in awe and James grinning with newly dawning comprehension. A dedication appears: "Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers are proud to present The Marauder's Map".

"Sirius, you genius!" he cries, reaching over to thump his friend on the back. "It's brilliant!"

"No wait," says Lily, "something's wrong with it."

And indeed, some of the lines aren't forming properly. A dozen or more taper off into unintelligible tangles of ink, while others are blurry and fuzzy. More still are running down the page and onto the carpet, disappearing almost instantly.

"Well, yeah. It's not quite finished…" says James, now looking glum. "We meant to last year, but we just never got around to it. It's a pity, because it really is brilliant."

"What does it do, exactly?" says Lily.

"When you tap it and say the phrase "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good", the map appears. It's supposed to be a complete map of Hogwarts castle and the surrounding grounds, showing where everyone is. When you're done with it, you just tap it again and say "Mischief Managed". It's like an extraordinary tracking system- one you can keep in your pocket."

"Couldn't you mistake it for an ordinary piece of parchment, though?"

"You could, but your ordinary quills and ink wouldn't work. It absorbs anything that you write on it, so you know right away that it's the wrong piece."

"That really is quite clever, boys. I'm impressed."

"We thought so too, Lil'."

"I think I know how you can finish it," says Lily, and holds out her hand.

Looking curious, James hands it over, and Lily pulls out her wand. "Okay," she says, "can you tell me the process you used to charm the map?"

They do so, giving her bit by bit instructions, correcting themselves at intervals as they remember new spells and treatments that they administered to the parchment back in their sixth year. Lily nods along, paying close attention.

"Okay, that sounds good. I think I know how to finish it."

She closes her eyes, with her wand poised over the map. Muttering softly, she moves the wand in eight figures of eight, then in a pattern that neither of them can follow. As she goes, the lines on the map begin to solidify, and new dots appear. James and Sirius watch her in amazement. The map that took them six months to begin is being finished- in mere minutes- right in front of their eyes. James looks at Lily in awe, suddenly more in love with her than ever before.

Eventually she opens her eyes. Her cheeks have become quite flushed, and her eyes are shining. James recognizes it as an after-effect of using a difficult charm.

"Merlin, Lily… where did you learn to do that?" says Sirius, eyes wide.

"Oh, it's a simple spell, really. I learnt it last year during my extra Charms lessons with Flitwick. It's called a plotting charm. Very useful." She looks very pleased with herself.

"It's brilliant," says James. Lily looks at him and reddens even more when she sees the look in his eyes – awe, fascination, and a touch of lust.

"Anyway," she says, "now you can find Remus. I somehow doubt that he's left the Hogwarts grounds. Even if he's still in werewolf form-"

"Shhh! someone could be listening, Lily," says James.

"Sorry. But even if he is, I really doubt that he's run off somewhere. He's smart, even when he's angry or hurting."

"She's right, James. Remus is a rational guy. He's probably just holed himself up somewhere in the forest."

"It's dangerous in there though." James' eyebrows furrow. "There're centaurs and griffins and Merlin knows what else. The centaurs aren't so bad, but if he's still… changed, then they could've taken fright and attacked him. He's not exactly a pretty sight."

There's a moment of silence, and then Sirius says "And that's why we have to go. Now."

James looks at Sirius in surprise. "Are you mad? Now? It's bloody midnight already. And the castle doors'll be locked. There'll be teachers and ghosts prowling around everywhere."

"What's more important, James: Remus, or _maybe_ getting caught?"

"Well, Remus, of course, but if we do get caught we won't be able to go at all."

"We'll just have to be extra careful, then."

"Fine," he huffs. "I'll get the cloak and then we'll go."

Ten minutes later, with Lily and Sirius in tow, James steps through the portrait hole, ignoring the Fat Lady's protests at being waken up at midnight and her threats to not let them back in when they return.

He throws the cloak over them all. They're getting too tall to be completely covered now, but he's hoping that if they do meet someone, their feet won't be visible in the dark.

Lily holds the map. While James was scouting for his cloak - which somehow goes missing after every use - Lily was looking for Remus. She finally found him: a still dot about a hundred metres into the forest.

They move slowly through the stone-walled hallways of the castle, Lily warning them of anyone who might pose a problem- which is everyone, basically, at this time of night. As they near the Great Hall they come across The Bloody Baron, the Slytherin ghost. He's weaving down the passageway, moaning and rattling his chains, which, like his robes, are tarnished with dried blood. They duck as he passes over them. After this there's no one in their path, and they reach the secret entrance to the passage to the Shrieking Shack safely. They had decided before leaving that exiting the castle via the front door would be much too risky. The massive doors are always locked at night, and opening them would require a complex spell which none of them feel up to producing.

So they slip down the narrow passage, one by one. James follows Lily, who walks along behind Sirius. The passage is small, but thankfully large enough to stand up in- crouching down or crawling for five minutes would quickly become painful. By the time they reach the shack the time is 12:45am, by James' watch.

They assemble in the middle of the Shack's dusty main room and consult the map. Remus is still a still dot on the map, in the same place as the last time they looked. They aren't sure whether it's because he's sleeping, injured or just immobile.

They leave the shack and start towards the forest, unsure of what they'll find.

ooo

The inside of the forest is, as usual, dark. Even in the middle of the day the light isn't able- or doesn't dare- to reach beyond the first few metres of trees and bush. In the middle of the night it's positively jet-black. Lily leads them with the map as they push through metre after metre of dense foliage. Sirius, travelling in front of Lily, receives a blow the neck from a branch whipping out of James' hand.

He scowls at James' back. "Oi! watch it, you dolt."

They travel as quickly as they can, deeper and deeper into the forest. At this time the place is much spookier. Fog creeps across the ground, mysterious beasts call in the distance. They all hope that the beasts will stay as far as possible. Lily's palms become covered in a thin sheen of sweat despite the chill in the air- images of terrifying monsters with huge fangs and claws are running through her mind, though she knows that they are unlikely to run into anything of the like at only 50 metres into the forest.

Lily listens to Sirius and James trudging along, thankful that James is the one who has to make a path through the forest. The route that Lupin took is off the beaten track, unluckily for them. She startles at a sharp pain in her forearm, and looks down to see dark blood pulsing out of a cut. She sucks the cut, as she has nothing to staunch the blood with. She hasn't mentioned to the other two that she left her wand on her bedside table back in her dorm room. Something tells her that they wouldn't be too happy to hear the news.

Eventually they begin to near Remus' hiding spot, and they slow down. Lily doesn't think that sneaking up on him is the best idea, just in case, so she calls out.

"Remus?... It's Lily. Where are you?"

James looks back at her, irritating her. He obviously thinks that he's the unquestioned leader of the group. Lily sometimes wonders why she likes someone so unfailingly arrogant.

Sirius says "Come on out, Wolf boy. We have to get back to the castle."

Lily yelps, and the other two look back at her. She's staring at the map.

"What is it?" says James, coming over to her.

"Remus… he's moving away."

Remus' dot is moving further into the forest, and they can hear a rustling in the forest beyond them. They can see that soon he'll pass the edge of the forest (on the map, at least), and they will no longer be able to see his position.

Sirius, also watching, looks up at them. He looks worried as he says "We probably shouldn't go any further in, guys. It looks to me like Remus still hasn't changed back, since he's going much too fast for a human."

"We can't leave him out here, Sirius," says Lily. "He's our friend and he's in danger. This isn't the time to desert him."

"We're not deserting him, Lily. He's deserting us. He knows we're here and worried about him and he's running away on purpose. He can't expect us to go in there-" he points into a forest "- especially in the middle of the night."

"And with only two wands…" Lily mutters.

"Wait, you forgot your wand?" says James.

"Um, yeah. Sorry I didn't tell you."

"Well, why not?"

And he points his wand in the direction of the castle and says "Accio Lily's wand!"

In less than a minute, Lily's wand comes zooming out of the darkness, and she grabs it out of the air.

Feeling silly, she mumbles "thanks James."

"You're welcome," he grins. "Now, are we going to find Remus, or do you two want to go to the castle? Your four poster beds are waiting for you."

Sirius hesitates, but Lily says "we have to find him."

"Alright then, it's settled. We're in for a long walk, though."


	7. Firenze and Friends

**CHAPTER SEVEN: Firenze and Friends**

Instead of trying to make their own way through the overgrown forest, Lily, Sirius and James veer off to the left onto an old animal trail. The Marauder's Map is proving to be very useful, and James and Sirius are bothered by the fact that they didn't finish it when they started it in their sixth year.

Wild owls hoot at them as they go by. These birds are quite unlike the owls in the school owlery. They have untamed yellow eyes and sharp silverblack feathers, and talons that are long and untrimmed. They swoop down over the intruders with legs outstretched, silent and deadly. Lily shrieks when one brushes the top of her head with its wing, and holds her wand aloft and ready for the remainder of the trip.

James' wand light leads them through the forest. Shadows appear as he guides the light over previously hidden roots and between the branches of creepy, gnarled grey-black trees. Crevices appear in trunks and red and gold eyes flash from the undergrowth. Lily's skin breaks out in little bumps, even though she is wearing a thick jumper and jeans.

As they walk along the pathway, stepping every now and then over thick tree roots, Lily keeps one wary eye on the map. For some reason, Remus has stopped, just before the edge of the map's furthest reach, where the forest continues on into realms unknown. He is some way ahead of them now, and she calls to James to pick up the pace. Her mind conjures up frightening, violent images, and she pushes them fearfully away, as if thinking them will make them come true.

The deeper into the forest they go, the louder it gets. The hooting of the owls mixes with the warbling cries of other nocturnal birds and the snarls of hidden beasts. Lily is extremely glad that she now has her wand.

As they begin to near, once again, Remus' hiding place, they slow to a creeping walk.

"Don't call out to him again, Lil'," James whispers.

Lily nods, and concentrates on finding the best places to put her feet. This is difficult, as much of the ground is obscured by opaque white fog. Several times she steps on a branch and causes a crack to reverberate through the forest.

Lily whispers to the other two, "He's straight ahead, about twenty feet away."

They approach a circle of trees, in the middle of which is a body, curled in on itself like a baby in a womb.

Forgetting their (failing) attempt at silence Lily rushes forwards, past James and Sirius and into the dark clearing, where it soon becomes apparent that they aren't alone.

Lily looks up as she kneels beside Remus, going cold as the bushes in front of her rustle. She raises her wand and points it shakily at the movement, hoping that whatever it is, it won't hurt her.

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you."

Coming towards her is a centaur, with bow strung and drawn by powerful front arms. His hair is jet black, his skin pale, his eyes steel-grey. James' wand light shows them a sharp nose and a long scar that extends from his left eye to his chin. He keeps his arrow pointed at Lily. She lowers her wand, but he doesn't relax in the slightest.

From all around them a herd begins to emerge. Centaurs with light skin and dark skin, bows and spears; all surround them. They move out of the velvet darkness, eyes cold and calculating, and force James and Sirius to stand with Lily and Remus' prone human form.

"Put away your wands."

They do so immediately. With twenty or more bows trained on them they would be hard pressed to let off even one spell without becoming peppered with arrows.

"Now tell me what you are doing in our part of the forest so late at night. Even at all."

Sirius speaks up, trying to sound more confident than he really feels. "We were looking for our friend here." He gestures down at Remus. "He ran off and we couldn't leave him here alone."

The centaur frowns. "Your friend has no business being here, and neither do you. The forest is dangerous, and you are merely children."

An olive skinned centaur's gravelly voice rumbles at James' right. "They can hardly be counted as children, Cleon." He gestures to Sirius. "This one has hair on his face, and the girl shows definite signs of human womanhood."

"And adult humans have even less business being in the forest than foals." Cleon glares at them, and they feel themselves shrink under his gaze.

The centaur steps forwards. "You must leave now. There are things in this forest that you would do well to avoid. The stars have long been telling us that there is an evil advancing, though what it is, we know not." He turns to the olive skinned male. "Take these humans away, Firenze. Lead them as far as the boundary."

"It's okay," says Lily. "We have a map."

Cleon snaps his head around and flares his nostrils. "You will go with Firenze, as I said."

"How are we supposed to move him," says James. "And what happened to him, anyway?"

Cleon's voice is fiery and fierce, and his grey eyes grow colder. "He was a threat to us, so we had to stop him. One blow to the head seems to have done it." Lily is horrified that Cleon seems a little too pleased with his handiwork.

"He was in his werewolf form, then?" she asks, glaring at him.

"Yes."

He says no more. It appears that their conversation is over.

Sirius goes over to Remus, takes off his cloak – a school issued uniform for cold days – and clothes his friend in it. The clock covers Remus' nakedity well. Sirius then raises his wand and says "locomotor Remus," and Remus lifts limply into the air. His head flops forwards onto his chest and his arms hang loosely at his side. He looks like a big ragdoll, the kind that Lily played with as a child, only filled with flesh and blood and bone instead of white stuffing.

Sirius, with James' help, gets Remus onto his back. Their friend's head rests on Sirius' shoulder, his arms around his neck and his legs, held by Sirius, around his waist. Remus piggybacked like so, they are ready to leave.

Firenze huffs at them, and they follow him back down the path, leaving Cleon and the rest of the herd behind. They travel in silence. No one speaks, at least, though the hooting and howling is as loud as ever.

Firenze sets a steady pace. Travelling is much easier now, as they are taking a different, wider path. The trees start to thin out, as does the fog, and stars become visible between the trees. It seems that no time at all has passed when they reach the boundary. Here the edge of the forest is almost visible- in fact it would be, on a clear, sunny day.

Before he leaves, Firenze warns them of the dangers in the forest yet again. His eyes are wary as he speaks, and his blond tail swishes agitatedly behind him. And then he is gone, cantering back through the trees and towards his herd, leaving them standing bewildered on the path (except for Remus, who is still hovering three feet in the air).

"Strange creatures, those centaurs," says Sirius.

"Let's get Remus out the forest," says Lily, looking worried.

James gives her back a funny look as she leads them down the path. Soon they emerge back onto the grounds, back under the stars. Back to where the sky and the castle are visible. Lily feels relief shiver down her spine. That wasn't her first trip into the forest, but never before had she ventured so far, and especially not in the dead of night. She stows her wand away in her robes and kneels beside Remus, who Sirius has lowered carefully onto the ground. He lies still on the grass. One arm is folded over his stomach, just below the last of his ribs.

James kneels down on his other side and checks his head for wounds. Sure enough, there's a small gash and huge bruise where Cleon hit him. He heals it easily, knitting the skin together with a short incantation.

Remus' eyes flicker open. He takes a while to focus on his surroundings, but when he does, when he sees Lily and James leaning over him on either side, he sits up fast. His breath comes quick. The air in front of him mists in short, sharp bursts. James' hand is on his shoulder. He calms and lies back down.

Lily notes the exhaustion in his face; in the circles under his eyes, in the paleness of his skin, in the stubble on his chin. She feels terrible, all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry, James," he says, his expression aggrieved.

"It's okay, Remus."

"It isn't, though. I feel terrible for what I did. Even if you forgive me, how would I forgive myself?"

"You have to, mate. You can't beat yourself up over it."

Remus sighs. "I think it would be best if you stayed away from the Shack from now on."

"Fair enough," James says. He looks like someone who is struggling to keep his opinions strictly to himself. Lily sees the corners of his mouth twitch- not in a smile, but in a grimace.

"Can you stand?" James says instead.

"Yeah… I think?" Remus sits up and uses Sirius' arm to stand. He's a little wobbly, but otherwise fine.

Sirius looks over at James. "How are all four of us going to get back through the castle with only the cloak? We're not twelve years old anymore…"

"Oh, yeah… uh… any ideas, Lily?" The three of them look over at her, and she sighs.

"Oh, honestly, you three. You're all useless. I'll cast a disillusionment charm on myself and Remus, and the two of you can go under the cloak."

"Our Lily, so clever." James makes a soppy face at her, and she rolls her eyes.

Soon enough, they're back in the Gryffindor common room. Sirius, yawning, immediately goes up to bed, murmuring a tired "G'night" after him. They listen to his footsteps winding slowly out of earshot.

The common room fire is now just a pile of burning embers. James' watch says that the time is 2.30am. Lily thanks Merlin that she can sleep all Sunday. Her only obligation tomorrow/today is to attend her extra credit Charms lessons, and those don't start until six o'clock that evening.

"Well," says James. "I'm gonna crash and sleep until noon. Night, guys." He climbs the staircase, and doesn't look back.

Lily looks at Remus. "Are you alright?" she says.

"No, Lily. I'm not alright." He looks incredibly world-weary, and much too old for his seventeen years.

She pulls him into a hug. He feels warm and sad in her arms. She thinks that it's like holding a slowly beating heart. Because that's what he is, isn't he? He's just a big ole bundle of emotion. All passion and fire and hidden thoughts, everything buried too far for most to reach. Lily wonders if she could find it, if she tried. Something about his kiss two weeks ago tells her that she could. In this moment it's definitely something that she wants to find out. Her curiosity is killing her.

And that's why, when he pulls out of her embrace, she finds his lips and kisses him back. She feels him start, and then lean into her. She can feel his heart pulsing through her t-shirt. The common room is warm already and Lily feels flushed as she kisses him harder. He opens his mouth slightly and she feels his tongue on her bottom lip, testing, asking for permission. His hands are in her hair now, and on her back, and Lily complies, giving in, sinking into him. Letting feeling take over and banishing all unnecessary thoughts from her mind. They move together, two people in perfect unison. His breath is hot and sweet in her mouth, his tongue the same. A heavy rain begins to fall outside, but neither of them notices, because they're oh so concerned with the fireworks going off around them.

When they finally break apart Lily's cheeks are flushed, and Remus looks slightly intoxicated. His hair is a mess, and somehow Lily's t-shirt has been hiked up over her bra. She pulls it down and smiles, feeling pleased with herself. Remus seems utterly unable to do anything at this moment, so Lily leaves him to get himself up to bed while she goes to her own. She sinks onto the mattress and crawls between the sheets, her mind filled with possibilities.

Remus finally gets himself together and goes upstairs to his own dorm. James and Sirius are fast asleep, snoring softly. He can't help but feel immensely happy. Somehow, all of the guilt of previous weeks has left him. Lily really is like a happy drug. Just one dose and he's over the edge.

But he can't fall forever. In the end, something has to give.


	8. Conspiracy Theories

_I know I haven't updated in quite a while, but I was suffering from severe unsurity and a mild case of writer's block. This is the second part. It's less romance oriented, and more about the war side of things. It's also a little bit messy, but I really wanted to get something up here._

_Hope you enjoy! X_

**PART TWO of TWO**

**CHAPTER EIGHT: Conspiracy Theories**

_Three weeks later- December 7th, 1978_

Lily's breath is loud in her ears. The forest is quiet- isn't that strange? Where are the creatures, and why are the trees so still? She's running flat out through the trees, with her feet flying and her arms pumping at her sides. All sense of direction has left her- she no longer has any idea where the castle is, and she could be halfway across the country now for all she knows. She feels like she's been running forever. Trying to get her bearings, she stops, turning around in circles, scanning for something that can tell her where she is. There's a distinct crack, and she's running harder than before, panting as she weaves through the trees. Never mind her direction, she has to run. The men in hoods are coming.

Something to her left moves, just in her peripheral vision, and she looks around, still moving. Her foot catches on a vine and she pitches forwards, falling into the thick undergrowth. Brambles scratch her skin and tear her clothes as she scrambles to get back up again. She ignores the pain and pauses for a moment. The forest around her is dark, the sky above obscured by the thick trees, so no moonlight leeches through. Though not usually a girl to be scared of the dark she's threatened by it, and she reaches into her pocket and pulls out her wand. She daren't cast any light, but if someone- or something- appears she can use it to fight. Suddenly, for the first time ever, she feels inadequate with just this slim piece of wood in her hand. Will her spells be enough to fight off the terrors of the night? Once again, she flees.

She wishes she had Remus here to protect her.

He isn't here, though. None of them are. Her friends are out there somewhere and here she is, running through the forest alone. Her sides hurt. Her calves are burning. There are twigs in her hair and mud on her clothes. The men in masks are coming.

Now, this looks familiar. This clearing. This place, where they found Remus those weeks ago, where they met Cleon and Firenze- this place that still bears the memories of wolfhuman blood and horse sweat. In her mind she can see the pale image of Remus curled upon the earth, injured and alone in his misery. And just as the last time she can feel a presence. She can't see anything, but she knows that things are moving beyond her vision. She doesn't hear them but she knows they're there. She knows they're going to find her, catch her, take her. They're going to take her someplace darker than this, somewhere unreachable… the men that speak like maniac kings, rulers corrupted, out of their minds with power. Her hands are shaking, and not just because this night is cold.

With her jaw clenched, she stands and waits for them.

ooo

**6 hours earlier.**

As she walks down the stairs towards the Great Hall, Lily catches sight of James and Sirius, following Peter and Severus along the corridor. Both of them are carrying their wands, and stepping silently, like stalkers. She rushes forward, exasperated at their behaviour.

She taps James on the shoulder. He turns as he says "What the hell are you doing?"

"Lily!" James exclaims. Severus whips his head around and stares at them, but none of the three teens see him. Peter calls back to him, realising that he's walking alone, and Severus follows, heading towards the Great hall. "Is everything alright, my love?" James adopts an Irish accent, and Lily rolls her eyes.

"Just tell me why you were following Severus and Peter. Or you need to have a reason to act like idiots?"

"Lily, I'm insulted. There's always a reason. And believe me; we have a very good one for this."

"I'm listening."

He lowered his voice and moved closer. "Don't you think it's a little weird that Peter is hanging around with that greasy git?"

"We just wanted to follow them and see if we can find out why," says Sirius.

"What did you need your wands for, then?"

James shrugs. "Dramatic effect."

"Well, Peter can hang out with whomever he wants. It's really none of your business."

"Peter may not be our friend anymore, but I'm still going to look out for him. He's not all that bright, and he might be getting himself into something bad."

"Oh, come on. What makes you think that they're up to something? Peter's obviously just latched onto Severus, and though I can't think why, there's no reason to believe that there's anything to worry about."

"He's in Slytherin, Lily. They all turn bad, eventually. Why not now?" James, surprisingly, looks genuinely concerned about Peter, the pimpled, dumpy kid that not so long ago had called Lily a mudblood.

"Fine, I give up. Do what you want."

"Good. Let's go have something to eat- I'm famished."

James turns and strode off towards the Great Hall with Sirius- and a second later, Lily- following in his wake.

ooo

"Hello, Remus." James sits next to him on the bench, and grabs for the nearest bowl of mashed potatoes. Lily and Sirius join them a second later, sitting opposite them and immediately loading their plates with food. Already halfway through dinner, Remus asks them where they've been.

Before James can say anything, Lily says "Our two dear friends here have been stalking innocent students, for no real reason."

"I thought you said you'd let it go!" Sirius protests through a mouthful of chicken.

"I have! I'm just telling Remus my totally unbiased version of events."

"And he's not innocent! I just know it. He's in with a bad lot already and now he's gotten to Peter! I bet he's recruiting for an evil secret society or something, one of those underground school cults that practice the dark arts and torture kittens, and-"

"Oh, shut up, you moron. _I'll_ bet he's doing nothing of the sort. He's just a harmless school kid- like he's going to have a _cult_. Where do you get these rubbish ideas?"

"It's a plausible theory. They're all Slytherins; they're trying to corrupt a dopey Gryffindor, trying to get their claws into every corner of the school, planning a revolution… don't dismiss it, Lil', you'll be sorry when it all comes true."

"You sound like a madman. You're just dramatising a completely innocent situation."

"Just let it rest," says Remus. "You know what he's like."

"Oh, so you're on her side!"

"You don't have any proof, James."

"Yet."

They finish their dinner in relative silence. Remus, reading his charms textbook, isn't entirely sure that Lily's right. Peter had, after all, displayed a completely new side to himself in the common room that night, so why couldn't he have 'turned bad'. Being a Gryffindor didn't always mean aversion to the dark side- Peter might be an exception to the goodness and bravery of the other kids in his house. Maybe it's a good thing that James and Sirius are investigating him.

Remus finishes his dinner first, despite the way that Sirius is shovelling his food down. Instead of waiting for the others he leaves the hall he heads towards the grounds, which are still lit by the slowly disappearing summer sun.

He doesn't see Severus and Peter leave the hall together, and neither does Lily, Sirius or James. The two boys, talking intently, quickly walk out of the castle, sticking to the shadows thrown onto the ground by the great stone walls. Peter eyes Remus walking in the opposite direction, before turning and following Severus, heading for the Forbidden Forest.

Ooo

**Five hours earlier:**

The Gryffindor common room after dinner is always packed, and tonight is no exception. Lily, James and Sirius would be pretty hard pressed to find somewhere comfortable to sit, late back as they were from the Great Hall. As they weave through the chairs and tables scattered around the room, and the many students- most relaxing and digesting their food- sitting on them, they decide to go upstairs to the boy's dormitory.

Sirius appears to have been thinking about James' theories, much to Lily's annoyance. As he flops forwards onto his bed, he says, "you know Lily, James might have a point."

"Oh, bloody hell Sirius! Not you too!" Exasperated, Lily sits next to James, who has stretched lazily on his own four poster. He looks rather pleased with himself- partly because Sirius appears to be on his side, but mostly because of Lily's close proximity.

"I knew you'd come around to my way of thinking. See, Lily? He knows what's what."

"You don't have _proof_, though! Innocent until proven guilty, remember?"

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong."

"What?" Lily and James' ears prick up immediately. Sirius grins.

"You remember the night we all went into the forest, and that big centaur said something about the stars…?"

Lily, with dawning comprehension, nods.

"He said there was 'evil advancing'. What do you think that means?"

"They're definitely up to something!" James eagerly sits up. "What else could he be talking about?"

"Oh, come on, guys. Evil? Peter and Sev aren't- Peter and _Severus_, they're not exactly _nice_, but they're not evil!"

James narrows his eyes at her. "Sev?" he says.

"What? What? It's just an old nickname, James. Don't get your knickers in a twist."

"Whatever- look, we have to find out what's going wrong. You heard the centaur: we're in danger. If they're planning something, we could all be in serious trouble." Sirius looks between the two of them. James is still glaring at Lily, who has suddenly developed an intense interest in her fingernails.

She says, sighing, "Fine. We can check it out. But I still think that it's none of our business. And you're probably wrong."

"Thanks for your permission, Lil'." James' expression is stony, and Lily ignores him. If he wants to act like a petulant child, she thinks, then let him.

She stands up, says goodnight to the other two, and heads back to her own dormitory. James watches her go, his eyes pained. As her robes slips out of sight he turns to see Sirius looking at him, eyebrows raised. It's obvious what he's thinking.

"Please don't get started on that again, okay?"

"I know, mate, but she's not going to wait around forever, is she?"

"What do you mean? She knows how I feel." He slides back on the bed and rests against the headboard, hands rubbing at his face.

"No, she doesn't. She knows you're a desperate idiot, and she's not going to go for that. She's too proud."

"And when did you become such an authority on this?"

"She told me."

"WHAT?" He sits up, hardly believing his ears. Why would Lily confide in Sirius? Sirius, his immature, irresponsible, completely bonkers best friend?

"She just told me that if you want to be with her you have to stop being such… well, such a dickhead."

"I thought girls liked that kind of thing."

"Mate, they really don't. Trust me, I would know," he smirks.

"You? You're a complete wa-"

"But I'm smooth to make up for it. You, my friend, are not." James is about to reply, but Sirius cuts in, saying, "Do you remember the time you tried to impress her by conjuring up a flock of doves?"

"Well, yeah, but that's not-"

"And you conjured a bunch of bats instead?"

"This isn't-"

"It might have paid to actually learn the spell beforehand."

James sits sulking on his bed, while Sirius pulls a tin out from under his own. "Now please stop whining," he says kindly, "and have a piece of chocolate cake."

Meanwhile, Lily is halfway across the 7th floor corridor, heading quickly for the stairs. Up in her room she watched out the window as rain began to fall. The sky darkened and water lashed at the window panes as the weather took on the semblance of a beast freed from a cage. The trees of the forest shook. Doubts and worries swirled in her head and she leant her head against the cold glass.

And then, by the lake, she saw something move. Beside the churning waters sat a figure in school robes, and she remembered Remus mumbling as he left the table- "going to the lake, be back soon." She leapt to grab her coat and rushed out the room, through the portrait, along the castles corridors and out of the front doors of the castle, into the howling wind and rain.

She squints in the cold air and wraps her scarf around her neck a little more tightly, trying to keep the damp off of her skin as much as possible. She can barely see anything. The rain has bought with it a mist, and she has to guess her direction as best she can. She walks across the sodden grass, the folds of her scarf flapping wetly against her face. Eventually, she calls out.

"Remus? Remus!" she yells. Her voice is whipped away by the wind, which has reached almost frightening new speeds. Worry creeps noticeably into her voice as she calls again, and again…

There's no answer. She's at the lakeside, and Remus is nowhere to be seen. She desperately calls again, screaming into the wind, her coat flapping madly around her legs and her cheeks red with cold.

Carried by the wind, her voice reaches a pair of ears. Tired and cold and hunched on the grass by the lake is Remus. He clears his throat and yells hoarsely back. "Lily?..."

With her hair plastered to her scalp Lily runs around the edge of the lake. She finds him as she saw him from her dormitory window, only from here he looks much worse. He's shivering uncontrollably, and his dark hair is dripping wet. Water is running inside his collar. He looks helpless, and she thinks for a moment that he's injured.

"What are you doing out here, Remus?" She kneels beside him and brushes his hair out of his eyes, but he doesn't look at her.

"I went for a walk," he says shortly, teeth chattering. She can see that he's trying to be tough, but that's hard when he's in his current state.

"Yes," she sighs, "but what are doing in the rain."

"I think…" he pauses. "I think I might have fainted. And when I woke up it was raining and I was so cold…"

"Oh…" she says nothing more, and instead leans into him and hugs him tightly. She buries her face in his neck and says "we should get back. You'll get sick if you stay out here. Come on. We'll go the common room and sit by the fire." She moves way and takes his arm, as if to pull him up. He stops her.

"Wait…" he looks at her now, unblinking. "We can't do it, Lil'. We just can't."

"We can't do what? We have to go, you-"

"No, we can't be together."

"I- Remus…"

She looks at him. For a girl of only seventeen her eyes are so sad, and as she looks at him a line appears between her eyes. He looks back, waiting for her to answer. He's expecting her to protest, but she only says softly, "okay."

"Okay?"

"I… I don't want to make trouble, Remus. I can't choose, either. I think… I think this is best. This makes it easy."

As she speaks he thinks he's done the wrong thing. What sane man would turn down a girl like Lily Evans? Except perhaps someone on the other end of the stick, he would, apparently. He's completely mad, he thinks. But Lily looks at peace with his decision- and does he really want to cause a scene? No. This is for the best, like she said.

She says, smiling weakly, "You know, if things weren't so… complicated, I'd like to think that maybe this could have worked out for us."

He smiles back as they stand- he a little wobbly, and with Lily supporting him- and says "I'd like to think so too."

They walk slowly back towards to the castle, guided by the light cast by the open front doors. It's regrettable, their situation. Lily might be relieved, by Remus still can't help his feelings. With every step their hips touch, and her arm around his waist is distracting. If only they were a real couple. If only this contact weren't simply because of his incapability to stand straight.

Up in the boy's dormitory is James. If his expression at Lily's slip of the tongue was bad, it doesn't compare to what he looks like now. A look of rage has spoiled his features as he watches Lily and Remus- his love interest and his friend- move back towards the castle together, their arms around each other as they walk through the pouring rain.


	9. Conflict

_This chapter is still about the events leading up to Lily running through the forest. Chapter ten and chapter eleven are joined, I just wanted to post Ch10 as it is right after I wrote it, so this bit is in two parts. _

_To anyone who has read this far- thank you. Your attention to this fic (my first based on the characters of Harry Potter) means a lot to me (:_

_Enjoy! _

**CHAPTER NINE: Conflict**

**Three hours earlier:**

The weather follows Lily and Remus inside. They open the doors and the mist spills in, slicking the floor even before the rain. They slip more than once but with each other to lean on they avoid a major fall, and they reach the steps safely. At this point Lily takes her arm away from Remus; he tries not to show his disappointment, and instead tries to keep up a conversation. There's something he needs to tell them – not just Lily, but all of them.

The castle clock begins to chime. Their robes drip all over the grey stone floors, leaving a trail as they begin to climb the stairs towards the seventh floor. Lily arm left Remus' waist as they passed over the castle threshold; even though his bones had warmed sufficiently for him to walk steadily by himself, he wished she could have left it there for just a little while longer.

It's quite late now- gone ten, at least. The professors will be prowling the hallways to make sure that the students aren't straying away from their common rooms, and Lily urges Remus to hurry. As they walk quickly down the corridors and run up the multiple staircases they warm up considerably, so that by the time they reach the Gryffindor Tower they're almost sweating inside their wet robes. Lily says the password and they step through the portrait hole, entering the now much less populated common room. Most of the students here now are in the higher forms, as the younger kids have gone to bed.

Lily and Remus part silently at the stairs, Lily ascending to her dorm, Remus to his. He steps heavily up the stone stairs, running his hand over the stone wall, feeling the ache from the cold in his legs and chest. All that time spent lying outside in the rain was definitely not a good idea, and he curses himself as he walks into him dorm room. Sirius is lounging on his bed, flipping through the latest issue of _Wizard Rock Weekly_. He has no shoes on, Remus notices, and his shirt is open perhaps a button too much at the top. James is standing by the window, and Remus can't see his face. He notices that his shoulders look tensed.

Remus says as Sirius looks up, "You won't believe what happened to me today."

"Can't imagine," says James. "Do tell."

Remus walks over to his trunk and pulls out a pair of grey sweatpants and a baggy black t-shirt. "I went down to the lake after dinner to take a walk," he says, smiling a little, "and I _fainted_, right there on the banks! In the rain! I'm pretty sure I'll be paying for it tomorrow."

Sirius guffaws and Remus grins bashfully as he pulls his school shirt over his head, replacing it with the t-shirt.

"And then what happened?" says James quietly.

Remus pulls on his pants and notices James' expression as his friend turns around. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh no, nothing's wrong… I just thought you had a little more respect for me, that's all."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

The two boys are standing facing each other, with Sirius looking on from his slouched position on his bed. He puts down his magazine and sits up slowly, a wary look in his eyes. He doesn't know the cause for James' sudden accusation, and Remus is utterly confused.

"Don't be so stupid, Rem! Did you think I wouldn't notice? I may be a bit of a dick, but I'm not a fucking idiot! I saw you outside with your arms draped all over Lily. You know how I feel about her, man. I mean… I- she's my… you know what I mean."

"You're doing a great job of asserting yourself there mate," Sirius grins. He starts flipping through his magazine again, pushing his unruly, curly black fringe away from his eyes.

"You've got it all wrong, James. We weren't- I wasn't flirting with her or anything. She saw me down by the lake and she came to help me -she was just helping me back to the castle. I could hardly walk I was so cold."

"Are you sure that's all it was?"

"Well, yeah, mate. I know how you feel about her..." Inside Remus is churning, and he remembers the taste of Lily's mouth and the feel of her hips, even as James nods and accepts his answer. The air in the room becomes less tense, though Remus'feeling of shame strengthens inside him. Sirius is still lying on his bed as if nothing has happened, staring intently at his magazine now, with his teeth worrying his bottom lip. Remus walks over, snatches the magazine out of his hands and studies it, really not at all surprised.

Still, he has to comment.

"Really, dog-boy? Really?"

ooo

**An hour earlier.**

Remus sits on his bed, once again marvelling at James' trust in him. Had he been anyone else then what James had seen from his window would have called for a completely different situation. James' feelings for Lily, as Remus has always known, have become stronger and stronger over the years. His attention to her has never wavered- love or lust, it was a sure thing, a constant. What did Remus ever think he was doing then, thinking about her like that? Even _kissing_ her?

He's still mentally abusing himself when Peter bursts into the room. Sometimes Remus forgets that Peter still lives with them, since he's hardly ever there. God knows what he's been getting up to in his spare time, and though Remus highly doubts James' concerns, he has to admit that it is a little sketchy. He turns his head to watch his former friend, and Peter's head snaps around at the movement. The two boys exchange a brief unfriendly look before Peter silently turns his attention to the trunk next to his bed. As he rummages, Remus exits the room as quickly and as quietly as he can, making sure that he doesn't bump into James' bed, as he often does.

Downstairs the common room is buzzing- James is hyping up the rest of the Gryffindors for the upcoming Quidditch match against Ravenclaw. This is James' last year as the Gryffindor team's seeker and he's hoping to make the best of it.

As the Gryffindors cheer him on, James' voice can be heard over the noise, saying, "We can do it, team! We're the best we've ever been in all my years at Hogwarts and there's absolutely no way we're going to lose the Quidditch cup- not even in this disgusting weather." He grins widely, raising his arms in the air and yelling, "_Who's the best?_" to which the crowds answers deafeningly, "GRYFFINDOR!" As whooping and hollering fills the room- from the high ceiling to every corner to even the dormitories above them, where the sound disturbs many students trying to study away from the gathering- Remus climbs through the portrait hole, unnoticed by most. The only one to see him go is James, perched high on a table above everyone else's heads.

His high vantage point is the reason why, unlike the other students surrounding him, he sees Remus climb through the portrait hole and out into the dark corridor.

He jumps down the table instantly, motioning at Sirius and Lily and following Remus out into the corridor.

ooo

Remus slips through the front doors- why they're still open at this time is a mystery, but the four students don't bother to stop and question it. Their shadows flit across the grass, thrown onto the ground as distorted shapes by the torch-lit castle windows. As they follow Remus across the grounds towards the forest the doors slide shut unheard behind them. They pass Hagrid's hut, creeping through the darkness and the fog, eyes darting. Remus is still somehow oblivious to his friends.

Lily's doubts about what they're doing increase as Remus enters the shelter of the gnarled forest trees. Soon he's almost out of sight among the branches, and they hurry to keep up. Sirius wishes fleetingly they'd bought the map with them.

They're only a few steps into the trees when Lily stops, because Remus is standing facing them, the look on his face confused and surprised at seeing his four best friends following him through the dark. For a moment he even looks angry, but that moment passes quickly, and only Lily notices the flash of fire in his dark eyes.

Suddenly, Lily can't think of anything to say him. Luckily Sirius steps right forward, peering past Remus into the trees, then saying "Sorry we were following you, mate, we were just..." He turns to James. "Why were we following him, exactly?"

James falters, and then says as strongly and authoritatively as he can, "I was worried. I thought you were in trouble, or... something." He can tell that despite his direct tone, Remus doesn't believe a word, because his eyebrows almost disappear beneath his messy fringe, and he crosses his arms. Lily's eyes are drawn to the definition of muscle under his skin- something she hasn't really noticed before.

"Never mind what reason we had," Lily says, "what are doing out of the castle so late? And why were you going into the forest? We think- James and Sirius think the centaurs might have been right- there really is something dangerous going on."

"If you really must know, I was just going for a walk."

"At this time? In the _Forbidden Forest_?" says Lily, now crossing her own thin, slightly freckled arms.

"I, uh..."

Remus feels Lily's green eyes penetrating his skull, willing him to give up the real reason. He certainly hadn't counted on any of them following him- he thought that slipping out of the common room during James' deafeningly loud pep talk had been a good idea. Evidently it hadn't, because now he faced a slight dilemma: tell them the truth or turn around, go back to the castle, and endure the battering of their questions until he finally folded under the pressure- and what use would that be? He knew that allowing them to continue on with him could be risky, but out of all the people to come out here with him, he would have chosen these three.

"Before you arrived in the clearing- you know, when you met the centaurs- one of them told me something. Firenze, his name was, that big blond one. He told me to come back tonight. He has some information for me."

"What could he possibly want to tell you? He's a centaur- they don't care about Hogwarts students! And why didn't he tell us when he led us away from his herd?" James says incredulously. "What's so special about you, anyway?" Remus' eyes darken even more at this last, almost desperate comment.

"I have no idea," he says coldly, "but it must be important. Now, I'm late, so do you want to come with me or not?"

And he turns promptly around and strides off through the trees. Lily hastens to follow him, and after a moment Sirius does the same, but James, still fuming, stays at the tree line, shouting after them. "There are more important things to be worrying about! What about Snape and Peter? Lily! Sirius! Sirius!"

But they're gone. Completely ignored and standing alone in the faint moonlight, James contemplates following them, but decides against it. Instinct- a gut feeling- tells him that he'd do better to stay behind.

This feeling is somewhat contradicted, however, when a spell hits him squarely in the small of the back, and he's unconscious before he hits the ground.


	10. The Hooded Men

**AN: **We're getting close to the end now. I expect to wrap this up in a couple of chapters, maybe three. As you may have noticed, my chapters are rather short, which is why I have 17,000 words and 12 chapters- an average of 1416.666666666667 words p/c. Anyway, if you've been reading this fic, if you've added it to your alerts, if you've reviewed or fave'd it, then thank you very, very much I appreciate it so much.  
Right. Now. To the story!

**CHAPTER TEN: The Hooded Men**

"This isn't the way to centaur territory, Rem," Lily whispers. "Are you sure...?"

"Firenze told me to angle west instead of going straight in; we can't risk running into the rest of the herd."

"But I heard there are acromantula and vampires in here. What if they find us?"

Lily and Remus are walking side by side, climbing carefully over the fallen branches that litter the forest floor. Some of them are as wide as Lily is tall. The trees in the west of the forest seem to be the oldest, and are spread wider than those in the east. They rise so high above the three teenagers that Lily feels completely dwarfed. Roots have risen above the surface of the earth in some places, where the trees have had to grow in strange directions in order to avoid each other. In the light of Lily's wand they look like snakes shrouded in moss and dirt, hiding spectre-like from the blue-ish glare. They appear to shift from side to side as the light moves over them.

A low mist creeps across the forest floor, floating away in fragile wisps as they walk through it. Sirius is up ahead, impatiently looking behind him at the other two and vaulting easily over the scattered logs.

"I'll protect you." Remus avoids Lily's eyes, which are now fixed on him. She's straddling a fallen branch the size of a refrigerator, blushing, her mouth twitching as she tries to refrain from grinning stupidly at him.

Seconds later Sirius turns around and sees them in this tableau. He rolls his eyes and shouts "Oi!" They snap out of their trance, Remus looking up, Lily tearing her eyes away from Remus' face. Sirius, standing alone atop a log, looks at them pointedly. "When you're done being awkward, we'll carry on, shall we?"

Lily jumps gracefully from the log, avoiding looking at Remus, because she can feel the threat of a smile still lingering on her lips as she walks ahead of him.

The next second, an echo of hoof beats comes drifting towards them, getting quickly closer and closer until Firenze, pale and chiselled in the moonlight, is standing before them. Lily and Remus approach him cautiously until they're standing next to Sirius. Firenze says nothing for a few seconds. When he finally does he sounds more than a little annoyed.

"I thought I asked you to come alone, boy. Who are these children?"

Remus answers without blinking, despite the centaur's stony glare. "They're my friends. You can trust them. And me."

"Very well. Let me say, however, that what I am about to tell is of the upmost importance. We centaurs usually keep to ourselves, and do not bother with the problems of humans, but we know something I cannot ignore. Cleon does not know of my meeting with you- if he found out I would be punished- but you must know. You must go straight to the headmaster with this information, is that clear?"

"If it's so important, why is Cleon keeping it to himself? And why can't you go to Dumbledore yourself?" says Lily.

"Cleon does not care about humans- what happens to you is unlikely to affect us, and therefore he would not bother... and if I were to leave the forest to consort with humans, he would be furious."

Sirius looks confused. "Why would you risk talking to us, then?"

Firenze falls silent, and stares up into the night sky, where stars are speckled so thickly their light almost rivals even that of the moon. It's quite evident to the three that Sirius isn't going to get an answer, so Remus says "What is it we need to know?"

Firenze sighs. "You are all in grave danger," he says softly, still looking to the stars. "There are dark forces brewing close to here- even inside the castle. I fear... I fear for all of our lives."

Sirius stares at him blankly. "Well, that's some intense shit, mate, but it's not very precise. What do you mean by 'dark forces'?"

"I am not your 'mate', boy-"

"And I'm not a boy. I'm a legal wizard."

"Your size and levels of maturity are not indicative to adulthood. Had you been a centaur you would still be considered a foal, at the lowest tier of the social ladder, so do not dare to speak to me so impertinently. It was my choice to come here today- I do not owe you a thing. Have some respect." Firenze's nostrils flare as Sirius blanches from his aggressive words.

Firenze appears satisfied. With no small amount of pride in his voice he says, "Centaurs, as I'm sure you know, are an ancient and noble race. We may speak cryptically when it comes to the messages from the stars and moon, but it is only because the stars and moon themselves are not direct messengers. What we interpret is subjective, and often we are unsure of what they are saying. What I have just told you, however, came not from the sky but from the voices of other creatures. There is a dark wizard gathering followers. We know not of his name or him aims, but we do know that he is a threat to us all."

"So you heard it from the grapevine?" Sirius grins. "Are you sure it's right, though?"

"No," says Firenze shortly.

"And we should bother Dumbledore with it anyway?" Remus says, furrowing his eyebrows together.

"Yes. Though there is a chance that it is wrong, it is likely that it is not, and therefore I would be... grateful, should you pass it on. For me." Firenze seems reluctant to admit his thanks, so the three students leave it at that. Lily assures him that they'll be going straight to the headmaster's office now, and the three depart. Firenze canters away into the forest. As the sound of his hoof beats grow fainter, their walk becomes more relaxed. Remus hadn't realised it before, but his shoulders had grown increasingly tense as their meeting with Firenze had progressed- the centaur's self righteousness had been grinding on his nerves; he wanted to tell the pale man to relax, maybe use a conjunction or two.

As return journeys go, their walk to the castle seemed to pass quickly. The castle is just looming into sight when Sirius says, "I hope James is okay. We kinda just... left him there. He's probably gonna be pretty pissed with us."

"James made his own choice, Sirius." Remus, walking ahead of them, doesn't look back. "He's a big boy. He'll handle it."

Lily and Sirius exchange a look of understanding. The ongoing quarrel between their friends hasn't gone unnoticed.

And that's when a cry of pain- anguished, pleading and utterly terrifying- rents the still air.

There a seconds pause before a strangled cry escapes from Lily's mouth, and she chokes out the word "James". She takes off running, leaving the other two behind. Sirius, without a second thought, shifts into his black dog form and runs swiftly after her. He overtakes her in seconds and disappears into the forest. By now Remus is following, calling after them, because there's a gnawing fear in his chest and his heart is thumping wildly and he _knows_ it was James screaming, his friend, the one they left behind. His coat whips back as he runs into the wind, now raising and shaking the trees slowly back and forth, causing a frightening shhh that seems to snap at his heels, urging him to go faster and faster until he's fairly flying over the forest floor. Everything takes on a dreamlike state. He's sure this isn't real- he's really snug in bed, having come upstairs to bed instead of meeting Firenze.

And then James screams again and reality almost trips him up, because he's still in the Forbidden Forest, and there's the wind again. And then there's Lily, legs carrying her forward just ahead of Remus. He's now so close he can almost touch her.

But she's oblivious to him. Her mind is focussed solely on James.

And then there's a howl and a scream, and Remus is at the edge of the forest and out of forest and in the grounds, in the full light of the moon and the stars. He's not sure he can stop running but he does, skidding to a halt and almost into Lily, eyes fixing immediately on the groaning body of his friend sprawled on the ground.

And on the six men standing over it.

No- six _boys_.

Skinny teenagers wearing masks that hide their faces from the nose up, leaving only their mouths visible. Masks that show off their smooth chins, free of stubble, and their skin blemished by acne. Their bodies are shrouded in deep black hooded cloaks. Their wands are extended and pointing at Sirius, no longer a dog, and now Lily and Remus. One of them is keeping an eye on James, but something tells Remus that they need not worry about him.

James' face is covered in fresh blood, coursing over his cheek from a deep cut under his eye. His glasses are nowhere to be seen, and Remus wonders whether these boys took them and smashed them.

Lily's voice rips through the almost-silence, "_What did you do? What did you do to him?_" She doesn't bother to hide her hysteria, or staunch the tears falling from her wide, furious green eyes.

The tallest of the gang sniggers cruelly. "You're in trouble now, missy! Don't you wish you'd stayed in bed tonight?" He laughs again, gleeful.

"Quiet." The one with his wand pointed at Remus- Remus thinks he's the leader of the gang- silences him with a single word. "You're really in for it, Evans. You and this snivelling idiot at my feet."

His voice is so familiar, yet in his haze of panic Remus can't quite place it...

"_What did he ever do to you_?" Lily screeches, tears falling freely.

"What is he, your _boyfriend_?" The first one jeers at her. He sees her expression and laughs maniacally. "Oh, no, but you _wish_ he was!"

Remus' eyes focus on the leader's mouth as he speaks, everything else becoming more of a blur, until the moving lips are all he can see. His words reach Remus' ears as if spoken through from the other side of a wall.

"We're the new order now; we're the ones you'll be answering to! He's got you now! Oho, he does! You'll be sorry, the lot of you. You'll be sorry, because he's got you so very, very good!"

Lily, now standing in a shocked silence, chokes out the words "Who is he?"

"You'll be finding out quite soon enough, my dear," the leader says, grinning.

Remus simply stands, astonished, staring at the boys, because he's sure he knows one of them- as he watches a wisp of white-blond hair escapes from behind the hood of the one with his wand fixed on Sirius' chest, and in an instant his wand is drawn and he yells out the first spell that comes to mind.

"Stupefy!"

The spell misses the blond boy by inches, but the force of the jet of red light almost knocks him off his feet.

Suddenly the air is filled with spells, firing viciously from the masked boys and yet even more so from Remus, Lily and Sirius. Even so, the three are outnumbered two to one, and in almost no time at all Sirius is struck by a stunning spell and then Remus is down himself, crouching on all fours after a blast of green fire hits him in the stomach. He has time to shout out "Run!" to Lily, before he falls to ground, and everything goes dark.


	11. What Lily Saw

**CHAPTER ELEVEN- What Lily Saw**

James' name pounds like a drumbeat in Lily's head. She chants it as if saying his name can stop his pain, stop the screams, stop this dream which she's sure she's having. Sirius streaks past and she sees his thickly haired tail whip out of sight around a tree. She spares but a second of thought for him before resuming her mantra. Remus is out of sight and out of mind.

There's fully fledged panic fluttering in her chest by the time she catches up with Sirius at the tree line, halfway between his shaggy dog form and his shaggy human form. She pelts past him and towards James, who's just on the receiving end of the Cruciatus Curse. He screams and she cries out in answer, feeling his pain.

"_What did you do? What did you do to him_?" Lily screams, rage and panic and fright swirling inside her until she feels as if she might faint any second.

One of them laughs at her and says "You're in trouble now, missy! Don't you wish you'd stayed in bed tonight?"

Rage rises again in Lily as she sees the blood all over James' face, and she screeches at them, with hate boiling inside her, "_What did he ever do to you_?"

"What is he, your _boyfriend_?" She hears, and in her head she's screaming,_ fuck you_, and he says "Oh, no, but you _wish_ he was! _Crucio_!"

She loses her grip on reality for a moment and zones in again to catch the leader saying over James' now weaker cries and groans, "He's got you good!" and she says "Who is he?" suddenly curious, and receives only an irritating rebuff.

She's considering ripping their heads off with her bare hands when Remus pulls out his wand and it's all mayhem from there. Half of them have fallen before Remus shouts "Run!" She turns and bolts back into the forest, running in the direction where the hooded men are not.

Their footsteps follow her as she runs blindly through the forest, trusting her feet not to trip, trying to get a grip on reality. When she does trip, she ignores the pain in her elbows and shoulders and gets up and carries on, because the footsteps are getting closer. Her eyes dart from side to side. She thinks she recognises this path. It looks like the one she was running down just minutes before, heading in the other direction. One word interrupts the flood of panicked thoughts in her mind: _Firenze_. If she can get to the centaurs then she can get help. Her fear becomes determination.

With only her memories to go by she changes direction. Now the moon is above her and peeking out from behind a cloud, illuminating the forest with an eerie silver white light. She finds her way through the forest, emerging onto a familiar trail and soon enough into a familiar clearing. It's the place where Remus fled all that time ago, shamed by his lupine rage, the affliction which caused him to injure one of his best friends. Memories of sweat and blood assault Lily's nose.

But there's something missing. Where is the herd that appeared so swiftly last time? The centaurs that she's counting on to help her. The footsteps are getting ever closer. Lily groans in exasperation and her hope evaporates. What can she do, alone in the forest? She pulls out her wand. She can only hope that she manages to take one or two of them down before they get her. She musters her courage and stands stock still in the middle of the clearing. Waiting.

ooo

As his friends run into the forest after Lily the leader leans over James' bloodied head. James is groaning "No... you leave her alone," which strikes the masked man as funny, because he chuckles. As if James had just made an amusing joke.

The castle swims in and out of focus as ghosts of pain from the Cruciatus Curses reverberate through his limbs, shaking him inside and out.

Somewhere next to him are Sirius and Remus, groaning awake. Out of the corner of his half lidded eyes he can see the hooded men, with their wands trained steadily on his friends.

What happened?

Lily, he thinks. Where's Lily?

ooo

Lily meets the masked men head on. They charge into the clearing and are momentarily shocked by Lily's appearance; she stuns two of them before they can react. She dives to the side when the remaining one tries to stun her, falling behind a tree and standing quickly to shield herself, then aiming a silent stunning spell at him. She misses him by a hair's breadth.

The masked man, panting behind a tree like Lily herself, calls out to her. His smooth voice is self-assured, yet he still sounds young. "Give yourself up, darling. It'll be a lot easier for the both of us."

Lily snarls at him, "Like hell!" and aims a blasting spell at the tree. Splinters of wood fly in all directions, and the tree creaks in pain. The man cries out in surprise and throws himself out of the way. Lily disarms him.

Her wand is aimed between his eyes before he realises that his own wand is gone, and he swings his arm up. His hand is empty. His eyes widen in surprise, and then focus on Lily's wand, and he stills.

"Take off your mask," she says, as calmly as she can. Inside she's still fuming, and it's becoming difficult for her to keep her voice steady.

The man looks at her. She can see his eyes glinting, moonlight piercing through the small eye slits in his mask. The mask itself is silver and mostly unadorned apart from the dark engravings around the eyes and the curling, vine-like lines over the cheeks and forehead. The mask elicits no fear in Lily, but the fact that it hides the man's identity unsettles her.

"Take... the mask... off," she growls, and straightens her arm a little more, so the wand is closer to him. His eyes study her for a second, searching for any mercy in her expression. He finds none. His hands raise, and he lifts the mask away.

Lily gasps, because the man is no stranger to her, and barely a man at all.

Lying on the ground before her is Lucius Malfoy.

"How did you get in?" Lily whispers. "You don't go here anymore. You left years ago."

"Oh, Lily," Lucius drawls, "Hogwarts isn't as safe as you might think. In fact, the place is almost asking to be infiltrated."

"Dumbledore will stop you."

"The old man can't do anything if he doesn't know we're here. It's a simple need to know basis, and he doesn't need to know."

Her voice catches now, because she isn't so sure. "He'll find out. He's a great wizard."

"He's a fool. You'd do well to realise that."

Lucius' smugness infuriates her, and so does the way he keeps looking at her. Beneath the obvious distaste is an unsettling, cruel desire that makes her skin crawl. He really would hurt her if he could.

But he's not the one with the wand.

And he realises that, because he still hasn't made a move against her. He's alone with her deep in the forest. They have only the moon and the trees for company.

Lily considers stunning him and leaving him here when he speaks. "Don't you want to know why we're here?"

"Oh yes, this is where the bad guy tells everyone the entire plan, isn't it?"

"It's only you and I here, my dear. What tells you that you're getting away?"

"I don't see me on the ground and you with a wand pointed between my eyes."

"Oh, a slight inconvenience," he smirks. He's probably all talk, but she's worried nonetheless. Who knows what he could have up his sleeve?

She soon finds out.

He moves so suddenly that she almost drops the wand, and then his legs sweep hers aside and she crashes to the ground, landing on her hip and jarring her shoulder. He scrambles up and lunges for her arm, pinning it to the ground above her head and wrestling the wand from her grasp. She gasps in pain as he puts his weight on her wrist. He doesn't move off of her, though- in fact, he climbs right on top of her. He positions his knees on either side of her hips, and jabs the wand into her neck. Her breaths are coming in quick, sharp bursts. His weight starts to hurt her chest. He bends down and she feels his hot breath on her ear.

"Who has the wand now? Not you, my dear," he chuckles softly.

"Is this where you tell me the whole plan?" She snarls at him, clutching at the dry leaves on the ground to stop herself from hitting him.

"We'll get to that..." he says as he trails his free hand down her neck, "...eventually."

He presses into her and she squirms in protest, but doesn't dare outright fight back. Who has the wand now, my dear? Not her.

"Where's that fire now, hmm? Aren't you going to put up a fight?"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? You sick _bastard_."

"Oh, baby," he moans. She can't see his face, but she knows he's grinning.

And then he flips her over, using his knees and free hand, keeping the wand on her. His face, pale but for the flushed spots on his cheeks, hovers over hers, and she feels his breath tickle her eyelashes.

And he slides his hand slowly up her shirt...

ooo

Sirius runs like the wind, even in his fear and panic savouring the feeling of the cold air rushing over and around his body. James runs through the forest beside him. He leaps and dodges with incredible agility, his speed almost rivalling Sirius' own.

Somewhere ahead is Remus- he can't be far away now- and somewhere behind is one of the masked men. They can hear his haphazard spells smashing apart the forest.

They're drawing ahead quickly, though. The stag and the shaggy black dog, who know this forest a whole lot better than the strange men in masks.

Back at the edge of the forest are the bodies of two of the masked men. They've been stunned and left there, masks crooked and cloaks tangled around their torsos. Their wands lie abandoned on the grass.

Remus and Sirius woke just minutes after Lily ran into the forest and three of the men followed. The ones left behind watched and grinned at each other. What could Lily do now, except put herself in further trouble?

Then one of them spoke.

"So, Potter, enjoying your little night out?" He spat out the 'P' in Potter like it was garbage in his mouth, and his voice, deep and smooth, cut through James like a knife. He found his breaths became difficult to take in, as if his throat has constricted to the size of a straw. With what little breath he had James hisses one word. "_Snape._"

Sirius and Remus, now standing and brushing off their robes, froze.

Snape took off his mask, grinning sickly at some great joke. "Aren't you glad to see me, Potter?"

And next to him, James knew, was Peter, and the boy that ran after Lily was Lucius, and God, who knew who the others were? Kids he'd been at school with for seven years? Boys he used to pass in the halls and eat in the Great Hall with? They sure weren't his schoolmates anymore. They were strangers.

Memories of how he'd taunted Snape rose again and again in James' mind. He winced because he knew that Snape would use this as a chance to get back at him. In fact, he was sure that Snape already had- he hadn't seen the face of his torturer, but come to think of it, the voice was much easier to place now that the pain had subsided.

James yelled at Peter, "You filthy swine! You traitor! We're your friends, Pettigrew! Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

Peter hesitated for a moment, and looked almost guilty. "You were never my friends," he said, looking at his feet.

"Oh, well this is all very touching," Snape said, "but we have a job to do." And he raised his wand and shot two stunning spells, in quick succession, at James and Remus. From just meters away, he missed.

Sirius took the chance to lunge for his discarded wand. Three badly aimed spells charred the grass as Sirius snatched it up and blasted Snape into the air. He landed with a thump several metres away, his breath knocked out of his lungs. Taking advantage of the distraction, Remus ran for his own wand, and Sirius disarmed the remaining two.

Remus' breath steamed in the chill air. Silence seemed to fall as they stood there, metres from the edge of the forest. From the castle they would barely be visible, clouded as their figures were by darkness. There was no wand light to illuminate them, just the stars and the moon, far above.

From some way away, Snape groaned and attempted to push himself up. The sleeves of his robes had fallen down, revealing sickly limbs, shaking from the pain. His chest rose and fell shallowly as he tried to retrieve the wind that his hard landing had knocked out of him. He glared at James through a stringy curtain of black hair, and James stared back, his wand now back in his hand and pointed straight at Snape. James walked slowly towards him, savouring the fact that he was about to exact his own revenge on this pathetic excuse for a wizard. Remus watched him from behind. His features became piteous, but he did nothing. He did nothing as James spoke the incantation, and flaming orange light fled from the end of James' wand to envelope Snape, to lift him from the ground, strangle him, squeeze him, and let him drop again, his limp body falling several metres and landing in a heap of exhausted limbs and baggy robes.

James strode away into the forest.

And Remus did nothing.

He and Sirius ran after him instead, leaving the three hooded men- Snape, Pettigrew and one unknown, heaped and unconscious on the grass near the trees.

ooo

Sirius and James change instantly into their animal forms, almost as they run, leaving Remus behind. The only sound is their steady breathing, the leaves and twigs beneath their feet, and the rush of the wind through the trees. The only thought in their minds is reaching Lily and stunning the men that had run after her into oblivion.

Remus tries to ignore the crashes of one of the men running after him; it's all he can do to keep his own footing and to stay ahead of his pursuer. James and Sirius are far ahead, and catching up with them and getting to Lily is a priority over duelling the blundering fool on his trail.

When James and Sirius get to her, it's almost too late.


	12. Something Wicked This Way Comes

_This is the last chapter! Thank you so much if you've been reading this since the beginning. You're amazing. Here, have a virtual hug! I would also really appreciate a final review from my readers. Tell me what you most enjoyed (or didn't) with every update. I would honestly love you even more if that were possible :) xx_

_And, if you haven't already, please check out my new HP one-shot, featuring our favourite Ravenclaw, Luna Lovegood! :)  
Now, to the story!_

* * *

**CHAPTER TWELVE: Something Wicked This Way Comes.**

James and Sirius burst into the clearing. Sirius' large paws skid a little on the dirt and fallen leaves, but he recovers quickly and springs at the blond haired boy on top of Lily, who is struggling frantically. A strangled cry escapes James' mouth as he takes in the scene. As Sirius shoves the boy off of Lily he sees her on the forest floor, curling up into a ball with her back to her friends and her arms wrapped tightly around her knees. James rushes over to her, and she flinches as he lays his hand gently on her shoulder.

"Lily..." he isn't sure what to say to her. Her eyelids flutter, her eyelashes dancing on her pale cheeks.

She doesn't speak.

Sirius shouts at him, "James!"

Even as James turns to Sirius, the sounds of quick footsteps come from the forest, and Remus appears at the tree line. His hair is a mess and his eyes are wild, but they catch only a short glimpse of him. He makes sure that his friends are more or less safe, then turns back to find the boy who was following him before. Flashes of red light come from behind the trees and illuminate James' pale face.

James looks over to Sirius, expecting him to be in need of help, but instead he has the robed boy who they'd found on top of Lily pinned to the ground. Sirius is now in his human form. As James walks nearer, he sees the cause for Sirius' exclamation.

"Lucius Malfoy," he growls. "You sleazy, disgusting, son of a whore."

There's a deep gash under Lucius' left eye, and several rips in his robes. One of his sleeves has been completely torn off. Despite his compromising position he appears quite calm, though every few seconds or so his eyes flicker over to his wand, lying cast aside on the forest floor a few meters away.

He looks at Sirius and sneers. "Enjoying this, dog boy?" He bucks his hips and Sirius, sitting on his pelvis, breathes in sharply.

"Don't fuck with me, Malfoy," he growls. He pushes Lucius into the ground harder, grinding his wrists into the loose dirt and stones. Lucius winces and scowls at him as small droplets of blood soak into the forest floor.

Remus steps back into the clearing, his wand clenched in his hand, which hangs at his side. He's looking at Lucius in surprise and at the same time, taking in Lily.

James is looking over at Lily too. She can still feel Lucius, hard against her thigh, one hand moving around under her jumper, the other worming its way quickly up her skirt. The tips of his fingers had begun to start pulling at the elastic of her underwear, and though she tried to pull out from under him he was too heavy, and that was when he had been pushed roughly off her. She heard a harsh growl, a whoosh of air as Lucius' air left him, and a thump. She shuffled quickly away from them until she was almost on the edge of the clearing, and huddled up on the ground, trying to will the ghostly warmness of his hands away.

Her breath comes quick and sharp, and her eyes stay tightly closed until she feels able to sit up and face her friends. She catches James' eye and gives him a small nod, letting him know that she's okay. He stares at her for a few seconds. He notes how pale she is, and yet how beautiful. How her copper hair frames her cheeks, some strands now straying to fall across her face. His eyes flicker over her and she blushes at his attention. Despite the fact that he's barely let off flirting with her for the last four years, he's never looked at her quite like that.

Then she sees Remus. His face is flushed from his fight of a few minutes earlier, and the look he gives her is strained, like he's deciding between rushing over and holding her or punching Lucius in the face. This, in fact, is exactly what he's thinking.

He turns back to Sirius. His attention can't waver from Lucius from too long, because though Sirius' strength is considerable, Lucius is fair competition. His eyes have turned slightly frantic as he's realised that he'll be hard pressed to escape all four of them, since he has no wand and, as a plus, the boy sitting on top of him could change at a moment's notice into a huge, potentially dangerous dog. Lucius may be cocky, but he's not stupid.

For a minute everything is still: Lily sits on the ground at the edge of the clearing, tense and poised to attack should Lucius attempt to escape; Remus stands with his back to her now, studying Lucius' face, which becomes increasingly desperate as the time passes; Sirius has Lucius tightly pinned to the ground, so completely that the blond, thin faced boy can hardly move. Even the trees around them have ceased their constant whispering. The wind has stopped. The air is clear. For now.

"What should we do with him?" says Remus, wincing even as the words part his lips. The simple statement sounds so sinister to him.

To Lily, too, because she immediately says, "Don't harm him. There's no point in us doing anything, is there?" she points the question at Remus, who nods. "We should leave him to the authorities."

"And what, exactly, do you think I've done wrong, my dear?" Lucius' smooth, slightly nasal voice says, startling the other three.

Lily stares at him, wondering if he's taunting her. She speaks up anyway.

"You broke into school grounds, attacked me and my friends, tried to... to," her voice shudders along with her entire body as the all too recent memories of Lucius' eagerness flood her mind.

Remus finishes for her, his voice cold: "You assaulted her. I should have you hung, drawn and quartered for that, but I don't really think you're worth the paperwork."

Lucius smirks. "She was asking for it." He leers at her. Lily looks quickly away.

"Not to mention," says Remus, speaking loudly in an attempt to block Lucius' disgusting accusation from his mind, "that your father is quite an important man- rather high up in the Ministry, if I recall correctly. He wouldn't be too happy to hear about all this, would he?"

Lucius' mouth twists into a grimace. Remus has obviously struck a nerve.

"You don't know the first thing about my father, freak," Lucius snaps.

Sirius presses on Lucius' wrists a little harder and says, "Alright, that's enough. I'm sick of sitting on this arsehole- we need to figure out what to do."

"You can probably get off him, Sirius. We all have wands. He's not going anywhere." James has Lucius' wand in his pocket, and his own in his hand, as do his friends.

Sirius climbs quickly off of Lucius, training his wand between the blonde's eyes as soon as he has his footing. Lucius sits up, his eyes narrowed. He rubs his sore wrists. As he does so Sirius notices a drawing on his skin. It looks like a skull, but he isn't sure, so he says, "What's that?"

Lucius follows Sirius' pointing finger and stiffens at the spine. He shakes his sleeve down over his wrist but it's no use, because Sirius is already walking forward to grab his arm, push up his sleeve and study the tattoo.

It's a skull, yes, but there's a snake too. Sirius can tell instantly that it's dark. His hand isn't touching it (and for that he's glad) but he's tingling, as if the thing is giving off a black magical aura. He steps back. Lucius looks warier than ever. He isn't sure what Sirius and the others will make of his mark, but he hopes they'll pass it off as just an accessory.

It doesn't matter what Sirius thinks at that moment, though. Lucius needn't worry.

"_Expelliarmus_!"

Snape takes the five of them completely by surprise.

Their wands fly towards him even as he casts his next spell. The spell is silent, but the effect is very apparent. Vines from the trees spring to life and wrap around everyone in the clearing but Lucius and Snape. Sirius snarls at Snape, but he finds that he can't transform. Snape has already cast a charm that will force him to stay in his human form until someone removes it, and there's no one here with a wand that will oblige to do that for him.

Lily finds that her binds aren't too tight, but there's still no way she's moving from the ground now. Snape stares at her and she glares back, wondering what on earth happened to him. His hair is longer now and no less greasy, but his robes have changed from the shabbier school ones he always wore before. He looks smarter, scarier. She has a fleeting thought of how he used to be, and her eyes soften. He looks away. He can't bear to see her pitying him.

"Where's Pettigrew?" says Sirius.

"Gone," Snape answers shortly.

"You mean..." says Lily.

"He ran away," Snape says. "He may be a Gryffindor but he's a lousy coward. I don't know why you let him trail after you for so long." He shrugs. "Oh well, looks like he came to his senses before you did."

"He let the others into the grounds, didn't he?" she says. She gets no answer, which frustrates her. "What's all this about, Severus?"

James' eyes narrow at her. He hasn't quite forgotten her accidental use of Snape's nickname. Old habits die hard.

"We're just... raising awareness, I suppose you could say," says Snape.

She speaks outright, hoping her forwardness will surprise him into telling her what she wants to know. "Sev, are you working for a dark wizard?"

She's right; the use of his old nickname sure helps. He jumps a little, and looks at her. "What makes you think that?" He's obviously nervous, so Lily knows that what Firenze said was true.

"Never mind how I know- just tell me, Sev."

His emotions bubble to the surface and he says, almost shouts, "He's not dark, he's brilliant. Better than Dumbledore or any of the other fools that run this dump!"

He flails his arms in their direction- he seems to have lost control of his motions, as his anger takes him over, and he says, "It's none of your fucking business anyway, Evans! It doesn't matter who told you, it doesn't matter what happened in the past, it doesn't even matter that you _somehow_ managed to get in our way- which you did. You weren't supposed to be out here, we were supposed to be alone to do what he sent-" he stops suddenly, because Lucius has made a sharp gesture. Lily wonders if Lucius is the leader of their little group tonight.

"You've said enough, Snape," Lucius says. "Let's do our job and get out of here."

Snape moves fast. He strides into the middle of the clearing, raises his wand to the sky and says "_Morsmordre_". The clouds shift and Lily watches in fearful awe as a skull comes down through the gap, howling and screaming and shifting, and as a snake crawls from its mouth, just like the tattoo on Lucius' arm. But Snape and Lucius waste no time in watching the thing in the clouds. Lucius says, "Make them forget us Snape. We were never here."

Snape nods. He waves his wand and says "_Obliviate_".

As James' mind fogs over he remembers Lucius' wand still in his pocket, and curses himself for his idiocy. He reaches for his pocket but it's much too late. He vines slide off him and his friends and he slumps to the ground, and everything goes black. The last thing he hears is Lucius' low, nasal chuckle echoing in his ears.

ooo

James sits wearily on the edge of his bed, cradling his head in his hands. It's still throbbing from the memory charm, but at least the sudden flashes of light have stopped. Apparently that's what happens when someone chooses to remove one singular aspect of a memory, instead of the whole chunk. Professor Dumbledore advised him to rest and then sent him back to this dorm, keeping the other three to be questioned. James' interrogation is done, so he sits and waits for his friends to come back.

Lily is the first to walk through the dormitory door. She sits next to him on the bed and rests her head on his shoulder, sighing deeply. He stiffens for a moment and then relaxes, trying not to show how excited he is. She takes his hand and starts playing with his fingers.

"Dumbledore thinks the skull sign is some kind of dark magic," she says. "I heard him talking to Professor McGonagall when I went into his office."

James nods. "I just wish I could remember who did it," he says.

She sits up, but doesn't let go of his hand. "Do you remember what Flitwick told us last year?" she says. He shakes his head.

"It doesn't matter how strong the charm is, a memory can never be completely erased. The human mind is stronger than any kind of magic."

"So we could remember if we give it time?"

"Yes."

Footsteps echo in the staircase and Lily and James jump apart as Sirius appears at the door. He narrows his eyes and grins knowingly at James before going to sit on his own bed.

"Dumbledore wanted to know what incantation was used to make the skull appear, but I can't exactly remember. I think it started with M or N."

"Yeah, sounds about right..."

"What do you remember, exactly?"

James looks at Lily.

She says "I remember James writhing around on the ground, and then I was running through the forest by myself. And then someone was sitting on me and someone pushed them off- I think that was you James- and I remember not being able to breathe much and then that skull and then waking up on the forest floor. That's it really. Oh and Remus stunning someone, but yeah, that's all."

"Someone used the Cruciatus curse on me," James whispers, and Lily wraps her arms around his waist just as Remus walks in. He stops in the doorway and stares at them like a rabbit caught in the headlights. He clears his throat awkwardly and shoves his hands in his pockets, looking down at the ground and frowning.

Sirius looks warily back and forth between the three of them. He holds out a tin.

"Anyone want cake?"


	13. Epilogue

A Fucking Epilogue, Mate  
Words: ~800  
Author's Note: I'm sorry! The ending was such a cop-out, I feel like I cheated you, and myself. Here's a little thingy :)

* * *

**EPILOGUE**

"Sorry," Sirius says, taking back the cake tin. "Just trying to ease the tension..."

James continues glaring at him and Sirius lowers his gaze, then looks over at Remus, whose hands are shoved firmly in his pockets. His hair has flopped down to cover his face and one foot, clad in a regulation black school shoe, scuffs at the ground with absent concentration. Sirius imagines walls going up in the boy's mind and around him, too. For a few moments the four of them are caught in stasis, none wishing to break the silence or broach the topic that everyone's thoughts are now focused on. Lily almost removes her arms from around James' waist, but he gives her shoulder a squeeze and she relaxes a little, just watching, waiting.

Strangely, Remus is the first to speak, though it's not what is at the front of everyone's mind. "Dumbledore told me that whoever cast the skull spell was probably working for a dark wizard, and that they were probably a student at the school." He pauses for a second, then says, "I don't know if I was supposed to tell you that."

Sirius' eyebrows furrow. "Why would Dumbledore tell you that at all? It doesn't really seem like the kind of thing a headmaster would share with his students."

Remus shrugs.

"Maybe he knew we'd remember eventually anyway; he just wanted to give us a head-start," Lily says softly. James doesn't miss the way Remus' eyes focus on her the moment she speaks. His attention to her is absolute.

James gently removes Lily's arms from his waist and speaks quietly to her, fully aware that Remus is watching him, no doubt wondering what he's saying. "Let go somewhere quiet for a moment, okay?" he says, and she nods. He stands, takes her hand, and they depart the room. As the door closes behind them, Remus' breath hitches in his throat, but, of course, only Sirius is there to hear him.

ooo

Lily and James head over to their favourite tree in the near-empty grounds, where the five of them would talk and study before all this began. They sit side by side against the wide trunk, where the sunlight filters through the leaves and warms patches of the grassy ground. James refrains from taking Lily's hand again, thinking it might be too much, though he desperately wants to do it.

"I have to know," he says, "if there's something going on between you and Remus."

The question is so blunt, so sudden, and – well, not exactly out of the blue, but it's not what Lily was expecting at all. It's probably this which makes her answer truthfully, and at once.

"There was," she says, "but not anymore." He doesn't say anything, so she goes on. "We only ever kissed, twice, and I won't say I don't have feelings for him, because I do, but..." Her words desert her, and she and James sit in silence for a few moments.

"But for some reason you can't be with him?" She nods dejectedly. It's not really what he's looking for right now, knowing that he's not the only one she has her eyes on, but he sorrow is somehow encouraging – if she doesn't want Remus, what's to stop her from being with him?

"It doesn't matter," he says. "Just tell me – do you like me?"

"Of course I do."

"But I mean..."

"I know," she said, laying a hand on his arm. He immediately takes her hand in his.

With their hands now resting on his knee, clasped gently together, she says ,"I know what you mean, and before you ask, the answer is yes, James."

"What about Remus?"

She sighs. "I'll talk to him. I think he'll be okay, though. He has Sirius and you to talk to still, and I'm sure he'll forget about me in time."

"I don't really see how that's possible," James says, grinning.

She smiles back, but it's a tentative expression. She's worrying about Remus, he can see. People are always worrying about Remus. James feels a fleeting streak of jealousy, but it passes quickly because he is holding Lily's hand, and that's better than anything he could have hoped for today. He strokes the back of her hand with his thumb and tries to reassure her; "He really will be fine, Lil. He might look a bit fragile, but come on, anyone who turns into a werewolf every month has to have some strength."

"Even werewolves can be affected by heartbreak, James," she says, but the worry is gone, and there's a smidge of humour in her tone. She looks over at the castle. Golden lights have started to appear in the windows, and sounds of dinner are coming from the Great Hall. "We should probably go back. It's getting late."

They stand, James helping Lily up, and walk towards the castle. He puts an arm around her waist as they walk side by side, and it feels like the most comfortable, natural thing in the world.

* * *

The End (For Real).

* * *

End Note: Now that that's done I'm considering writing a war fic! Probably just a short thing, maybe 10,000 words or so (this one got to around 26,000 which is the second most I've ever written for one thing) . Anyway, what do you guys think? I want to play off the whole "Lily shunted Remus for James and Remus is left with Sirius" thing and maybe Remus swears off girls altogether and goes a bit wild and Lily gets pregnant and everyone is very... in turmoil. I dunno. I'm just rambling here. Please leave reviews or whatever and tell me if this is something you might enjoy!


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